Episode 237: How to Avoid Self-Sabotage Through "Tapping" and EFT with Therapist and Author Carol Looke
Sat Feb 07 2026
“Resilience isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about aligning what you want with what your system feels safe enough to allow.”
~ Carol Looke: Therapist, Coach and Author of The Yes Code and Yes Thank You
Are you sabotaging yourself?
The obvious question is, "Why would anyone do that?" The not so obvious answer is that you may not know you're doing it.
Carol Looke is a renowned therapist, author and coach who explores how resilience and forward momentum can be blocked not by lack of effort, but by unconscious sabotage and unresolved nervous system stress.
Carol (who grew up with two alcoholic parents) explains that we often live in survival mode--a mindset that focuses on keeping us safe and avoiding potential harm, whether the risk of harm is real or not. In an effort to avoid harm, the mind creates obstacles to risk, ultimately keeping us stuck. Our emotional stress, internal resistance, and self-sabotage also live in the body and nervous system, not just in our thoughts.
So what to do? One helpful solution, consistently applied, relies on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one portion of which relies on "tapping." Tapping relies on releasing stored emotional tension by tapping on points on the head and upper body while repeating positive affirmations. (On a personal aside, I thought tapping was downright silly--until I tried it!) A nervous-system-based approach, tapping creates safety, awareness and emotional alignment--encouraging momentum without forcing change.
Carol's work and her book The Yes Code—help people identify the invisible “no’s” that keep them stuck and transform those patterns into forward momentum, building resilience through intentional action, clarity and self-permission.
Living a Brilliantly Resilient life requires reflection as well as action. Once we recognize our internral resistance and yes, self-sabotage, we can move from frustration and burnout as we align our bodies and minds to allow our brilliance to shine.
Learn more about Carol and The Yes Code here and use this link for bonuses. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for more of Carol's wisdom and listen for these additional bits of brilliance:
“Sabotage isn’t a character flaw—it’s an internal conflict that hasn’t been resolved yet.”
“When people keep trying to push forward but can’t, it’s usually because part of them is saying no beneath the surface.”
“The Yes Code is about finding those unconscious no’s and turning them into conscious yeses.”
“Stress lives in the nervous system, not just in our thoughts, and it has to be released—not reasoned away.”
“When you calm the nervous system, clarity and motivation follow naturally.”
“Emotionally focused work helps people feel safe enough to change, instead of forcing themselves to change.”
“Tapping allows the body to release emotional conflict so the mind doesn’t have to keep fighting itself.”
“When internal resistance dissolves, success stops feeling like a battle.”
“Resilience isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about aligning what you want with what your system feels safe enough to allow.”
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“Resilience isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about aligning what you want with what your system feels safe enough to allow.” ~ Carol Looke: Therapist, Coach and Author of The Yes Code and Yes Thank You Are you sabotaging yourself? The obvious question is, "Why would anyone do that?" The not so obvious answer is that you may not know you're doing it. Carol Looke is a renowned therapist, author and coach who explores how resilience and forward momentum can be blocked not by lack of effort, but by unconscious sabotage and unresolved nervous system stress. Carol (who grew up with two alcoholic parents) explains that we often live in survival mode--a mindset that focuses on keeping us safe and avoiding potential harm, whether the risk of harm is real or not. In an effort to avoid harm, the mind creates obstacles to risk, ultimately keeping us stuck. Our emotional stress, internal resistance, and self-sabotage also live in the body and nervous system, not just in our thoughts. So what to do? One helpful solution, consistently applied, relies on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one portion of which relies on "tapping." Tapping relies on releasing stored emotional tension by tapping on points on the head and upper body while repeating positive affirmations. (On a personal aside, I thought tapping was downright silly--until I tried it!) A nervous-system-based approach, tapping creates safety, awareness and emotional alignment--encouraging momentum without forcing change. Carol's work and her book The Yes Code—help people identify the invisible “no’s” that keep them stuck and transform those patterns into forward momentum, building resilience through intentional action, clarity and self-permission. Living a Brilliantly Resilient life requires reflection as well as action. Once we recognize our internral resistance and yes, self-sabotage, we can move from frustration and burnout as we align our bodies and minds to allow our brilliance to shine. Learn more about Carol and The Yes Code here and use this link for bonuses. Tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for more of Carol's wisdom and listen for these additional bits of brilliance: “Sabotage isn’t a character flaw—it’s an internal conflict that hasn’t been resolved yet.” “When people keep trying to push forward but can’t, it’s usually because part of them is saying no beneath the surface.” “The Yes Code is about finding those unconscious no’s and turning them into conscious yeses.” “Stress lives in the nervous system, not just in our thoughts, and it has to be released—not reasoned away.” “When you calm the nervous system, clarity and motivation follow naturally.” “Emotionally focused work helps people feel safe enough to change, instead of forcing themselves to change.” “Tapping allows the body to release emotional conflict so the mind doesn’t have to keep fighting itself.” “When internal resistance dissolves, success stops feeling like a battle.” “Resilience isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about aligning what you want with what your system feels safe enough to allow.”