What to Let Go of in Midlife
Thu Feb 05 2026
In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Natalie addresses midlife women feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to fix and manage everything alone. She offers insight into how hyper-independence and the fear of abandonment can contribute to burnout and midlife struggles—and most importantly, how self-love can help rewrite these patterns.
Key Topics:
The emotional toll of hyper-independence in midlife womenThe neurochemistry of pursuit and addiction to dopamine hitsChildhood experiences shaping adult patterns of fixing and pleasingRecognizing and interrupting the spiral of justification and validationThe importance of self-love as an antidote to burnout and scarcity mindsetHow fear of abandonment fuels hyper-independencePractical steps to love yourself through mistakes and vulnerabilitiesMoving away from rescuing everyone and focusing on personal peaceTimestamps:00:00 - Addressing hyper-independent women in midlife02:09 - The neurochemical roots of pursuit and addiction to dopamine03:34 - How the chase reinforces the cycle of burnout04:33 - Personal stories of controlling or fixing others05:58 - Childhood patterns influencing adult need for approval06:53 - Recognizing the spiral of justifying and validating08:22 - The pain of not being liked or validated09:04 - The risks of over-investment in work and relationships10:30 - How derailments in pursuit reveal deeper patterns11:56 - The spiral of self-justification in times of stress13:20 - The link between childhood chaos and adult control issues14:19 - Self-love as the key to breaking free from cycles16:41 - The importance of loving yourself despite mistakes19:34 - Understanding the fear of rejection and scarcity mindset20:03 - Letting go of blame and the need for approval21:01 - Managing relationships without spiraling into chaos22:24 - Embracing age and experience for self-compassion23:21 - The power of loving your story, including dysfunction24:19 - Sharing this message with other midlife women25:17 - Letting go of the cycle of justification and abandonment fears26:15 - Finding peace and building inner self-worth
Resources & Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com
Facebook facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory
Instagram instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr
Linked In linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147
Tik Tok tiktok.com/@doc.natalie
DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with (https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com), (https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com), and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/ Text HOME to 741741
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In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Natalie addresses midlife women feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to fix and manage everything alone. She offers insight into how hyper-independence and the fear of abandonment can contribute to burnout and midlife struggles—and most importantly, how self-love can help rewrite these patterns. Key Topics: The emotional toll of hyper-independence in midlife womenThe neurochemistry of pursuit and addiction to dopamine hitsChildhood experiences shaping adult patterns of fixing and pleasingRecognizing and interrupting the spiral of justification and validationThe importance of self-love as an antidote to burnout and scarcity mindsetHow fear of abandonment fuels hyper-independencePractical steps to love yourself through mistakes and vulnerabilitiesMoving away from rescuing everyone and focusing on personal peaceTimestamps:00:00 - Addressing hyper-independent women in midlife02:09 - The neurochemical roots of pursuit and addiction to dopamine03:34 - How the chase reinforces the cycle of burnout04:33 - Personal stories of controlling or fixing others05:58 - Childhood patterns influencing adult need for approval06:53 - Recognizing the spiral of justifying and validating08:22 - The pain of not being liked or validated09:04 - The risks of over-investment in work and relationships10:30 - How derailments in pursuit reveal deeper patterns11:56 - The spiral of self-justification in times of stress13:20 - The link between childhood chaos and adult control issues14:19 - Self-love as the key to breaking free from cycles16:41 - The importance of loving yourself despite mistakes19:34 - Understanding the fear of rejection and scarcity mindset20:03 - Letting go of blame and the need for approval21:01 - Managing relationships without spiraling into chaos22:24 - Embracing age and experience for self-compassion23:21 - The power of loving your story, including dysfunction24:19 - Sharing this message with other midlife women25:17 - Letting go of the cycle of justification and abandonment fears26:15 - Finding peace and building inner self-worth Resources & Links: Connect with Dr. Natalie:Website https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com Facebook facebook.com/learntoloveyourstory Instagram instagram.com/dr.nataliemarr Linked In linkedin.com/in/natalie-m-marr-psy-d-lp-6a9298147 Tik Tok tiktok.com/@doc.natalie DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is not a replacement for therapy and is not clinical, medical, or mental health treatment. Dr. Natalie Marr is a Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota. Her work with (https://LearnToLoveYourStory.com), (https://NatalieMarrCounseling.com), and all affiliate social media entities is educational and coaching based ONLY. She IS NOT offering therapeutic services of any kind on these mediums. If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, please use the following crisis resources (this is not an exhaustive list of available resources):National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ CALL 988Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/ Text HOME to 741741