Learning to Trust Yourself Again: Self-care after Gaslighting
Tue Jan 27 2026
Did you know that gaslighting doesn’t only happen in romantic relationships, but can show up in families, friendships, workplaces, spiritual spaces, and even inside your own mind long after the other person is gone?
In this episode of Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom, Susan Grau talks honestly about gaslighting, not as a buzzword, but as something that slowly teaches you to doubt yourself. Your memory. Your feelings. Your intuition. Drawing from her own experience and the work she’s done with clients, Susan explains how gaslighting can leave you disconnected from your body, unsure of your truth, and constantly questioning whether you were right or wrong.
She shares why the impact of gaslighting often continues long after the relationship or situation has ended, and why that ongoing self-doubt isn’t a flaw. It’s a survival response. Susan also talks about what healing really looks like, and it’s not dramatic or confrontational. It’s quiet and reparative. Learning to believe in yourself again. Reducing contact with invalidating energy. Setting clearer boundaries. Letting yourself rest, pause, and be silent without guilt.
This episode is a gentle reminder that if you were gaslit, you were not weak. You were trusting, open, and human. Healing begins when you stop looking to others for closure and start choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.
In This Episode:
[00:00] Introduction [01:30] Gaslighting beyond romantic relationships[02:46] Defining gaslighting and its effects[04:02] Common phrases and accountability avoidance[05:22] Impact on intuition and self-trust[06:44] Personal experience and disconnection[08:57] Overriding intuition and survival response[10:10] Self-abandonment and explaining pain[11:12] Avoiding invalidating people and relearning self-care[12:18] Reparative self-care and trusting yourself[13:33] Physical responses and recognizing gaslighting[14:37] Slowing down and silence without guilt[15:49] Setting boundaries and reducing exposure[17:46] Distance as protection, not punishment[18:42] Self-love as loyalty and choosing peace[19:47] Why people stay and the role of hope[22:02] Healing feels quieter and rooted[23:13] Freedom from needing admission[24:34] The loop: replaying conversations[25:33] Closure comes from within[26:40] Breaking the loop and nervous system repair[27:47] Longer gaps and present-moment healing[28:53] Self-love means releasing the need for clarity[29:30] Conclusion
Notable Quotes
[03:26] “You stop asking, ‘Is this okay?’ And start asking, ‘Am I okay for feeling this?’”[04:58] “Most gaslighting comes from people who cannot tolerate accountability.”[08:45] “Gaslighting separates you from your inner knowing.”[11:22] “You weren’t too much. You were too aware for someone who needed control.”[12:09] “Self-care isn’t a bubble bath. It’s relearning how to listen to yourself without apology.”[13:24] “Your experience is valid because you lived it.”[19:15] “I choose peace over being right.”[21:18] “Staying doesn’t mean you were weak. It means you were human.”[21:39] “Leaving is not a failure. It’s wisdom arriving.”[25:53] “The same person who distorted your reality cannot be the one who restores it.”[27:47] “Some chapters do not end with understanding. They end with self-respect.”[28:42] “My peace does not require permission.”
Susan Grau
Susan Grau is an internationally celebrated intuitive life coach, a key opinion leader, author, medium and speaker, who discovered her ability to communicate with the spirit world after a near-death experience at age four. Trained by Dr. Raymond Moody, James Van Praagh, and Lisa Williams, Susan is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist, and grief therapist. Her new book, "Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons," published by Hay House, explores healing from grief and the afterlife. With media coverage in GOOP, Elle, and The Hollywood Reporter, Susan's expertise extends to podcasts, radio shows, and documentaries. She offers private mediumship readings, life path guidance, reiki sessions, and hypnotherapy, aiding individuals in healing and finding spiritual guidance.
Resources and Links
Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom Podcast
Infinite Life, Infinite WisdomSusan Grau
WebsiteOrder FacebookInstagramYouTubeTikTokMentioned
Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons Wisdom from the Spirit World on Living, Dying, and the In-Between by Susan GrauSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Did you know that gaslighting doesn’t only happen in romantic relationships, but can show up in families, friendships, workplaces, spiritual spaces, and even inside your own mind long after the other person is gone? In this episode of Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom, Susan Grau talks honestly about gaslighting, not as a buzzword, but as something that slowly teaches you to doubt yourself. Your memory. Your feelings. Your intuition. Drawing from her own experience and the work she’s done with clients, Susan explains how gaslighting can leave you disconnected from your body, unsure of your truth, and constantly questioning whether you were right or wrong. She shares why the impact of gaslighting often continues long after the relationship or situation has ended, and why that ongoing self-doubt isn’t a flaw. It’s a survival response. Susan also talks about what healing really looks like, and it’s not dramatic or confrontational. It’s quiet and reparative. Learning to believe in yourself again. Reducing contact with invalidating energy. Setting clearer boundaries. Letting yourself rest, pause, and be silent without guilt. This episode is a gentle reminder that if you were gaslit, you were not weak. You were trusting, open, and human. Healing begins when you stop looking to others for closure and start choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable. In This Episode: [00:00] Introduction [01:30] Gaslighting beyond romantic relationships[02:46] Defining gaslighting and its effects[04:02] Common phrases and accountability avoidance[05:22] Impact on intuition and self-trust[06:44] Personal experience and disconnection[08:57] Overriding intuition and survival response[10:10] Self-abandonment and explaining pain[11:12] Avoiding invalidating people and relearning self-care[12:18] Reparative self-care and trusting yourself[13:33] Physical responses and recognizing gaslighting[14:37] Slowing down and silence without guilt[15:49] Setting boundaries and reducing exposure[17:46] Distance as protection, not punishment[18:42] Self-love as loyalty and choosing peace[19:47] Why people stay and the role of hope[22:02] Healing feels quieter and rooted[23:13] Freedom from needing admission[24:34] The loop: replaying conversations[25:33] Closure comes from within[26:40] Breaking the loop and nervous system repair[27:47] Longer gaps and present-moment healing[28:53] Self-love means releasing the need for clarity[29:30] Conclusion Notable Quotes [03:26] “You stop asking, ‘Is this okay?’ And start asking, ‘Am I okay for feeling this?’”[04:58] “Most gaslighting comes from people who cannot tolerate accountability.”[08:45] “Gaslighting separates you from your inner knowing.”[11:22] “You weren’t too much. You were too aware for someone who needed control.”[12:09] “Self-care isn’t a bubble bath. It’s relearning how to listen to yourself without apology.”[13:24] “Your experience is valid because you lived it.”[19:15] “I choose peace over being right.”[21:18] “Staying doesn’t mean you were weak. It means you were human.”[21:39] “Leaving is not a failure. It’s wisdom arriving.”[25:53] “The same person who distorted your reality cannot be the one who restores it.”[27:47] “Some chapters do not end with understanding. They end with self-respect.”[28:42] “My peace does not require permission.” Susan Grau Susan Grau is an internationally celebrated intuitive life coach, a key opinion leader, author, medium and speaker, who discovered her ability to communicate with the spirit world after a near-death experience at age four. Trained by Dr. Raymond Moody, James Van Praagh, and Lisa Williams, Susan is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist, and grief therapist. Her new book, "Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons," published by Hay House, explores healing from grief and the afterlife. With media coverage in GOOP, Elle, and The Hollywood Reporter, Susan's expertise extends to podcasts, radio shows, and documentaries. She offers private mediumship readings, life path guidance, reiki sessions, and hypnotherapy, aiding individuals in healing and finding spiritual guidance. Resources and Links Infinite Life, Infinite Wisdom Podcast Infinite Life, Infinite WisdomSusan Grau WebsiteOrder FacebookInstagramYouTubeTikTokMentioned Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons Wisdom from the Spirit World on Living, Dying, and the In-Between by Susan GrauSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.