Ep236. Part Five – Preferences Puncture Peace. Choosing and Prioritizing Peace Above All (With Angie).
Thu Feb 05 2026
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In this episode, Mike and Angie continue their ten-part Unbreakable series by moving deeper into the heart of their transformation — the shift from a survival-based relationship to a conscious one. After laying the groundwork of childhood conditioning and nervous system wiring in earlier episodes, this conversation exposes how unspoken expectations, preferences, and control mechanisms quietly fueled years of volatility and conflict.
They explore how peace became the guiding value that reshaped their relationship, parenting, and daily life. By distinguishing between preferences and standards, Mike and Angie reveal how letting go of control allowed their nervous systems to regulate, trust to rebuild, and stability to emerge. This episode makes it clear: relationships don’t change when circumstances change — they change when the nervous system does.
Key Takeaways
1. Preferences quietly puncture peace
When preferences matter more than harmony, conflict becomes inevitable.
2. The nervous system prioritizes familiarity over safety
People repeat painful dynamics because survival patterns feel known, not because they want suffering.
3. Standards create safety, preferences create conditions
Standards are non-negotiable foundations; preferences are flexible and optional.
4. Triggers reveal unresolved internal pressure
Emotional reactions don’t come from the moment — they come from stored survival energy.
5. Conscious relationships are built on self-regulation
Peace emerges when each person takes responsibility for their own nervous system.
Notable Quotes
• “When my preferences mattered more than my wife and my peace, it really did rule the house.”
• “Anytime we held a preference and we wanted our preference more than peace, then it ruptured everything.”
• “Preferences puncture peace.”
• “It’s not a preference that we have fidelity in our marriage. It’s a standard.”
• “I’d rather have peace than my preferences.”
Call to Action
📘 Inner World, Outer World — Available Now on Amazon
A guide to understanding how the inner world shapes the outer life. Order yours here!
👥 Message Mike or Angie Directly
mike@innerwealthglobal.com angie@innerwealthglobal.com
Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends
My Social Media:
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mike_kitko
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Subscribe to my YouTube: / @mikekitko
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Send me a some feedback! In this episode, Mike and Angie continue their ten-part Unbreakable series by moving deeper into the heart of their transformation — the shift from a survival-based relationship to a conscious one. After laying the groundwork of childhood conditioning and nervous system wiring in earlier episodes, this conversation exposes how unspoken expectations, preferences, and control mechanisms quietly fueled years of volatility and conflict. They explore how peace became the guiding value that reshaped their relationship, parenting, and daily life. By distinguishing between preferences and standards, Mike and Angie reveal how letting go of control allowed their nervous systems to regulate, trust to rebuild, and stability to emerge. This episode makes it clear: relationships don’t change when circumstances change — they change when the nervous system does. Key Takeaways 1. Preferences quietly puncture peace When preferences matter more than harmony, conflict becomes inevitable. 2. The nervous system prioritizes familiarity over safety People repeat painful dynamics because survival patterns feel known, not because they want suffering. 3. Standards create safety, preferences create conditions Standards are non-negotiable foundations; preferences are flexible and optional. 4. Triggers reveal unresolved internal pressure Emotional reactions don’t come from the moment — they come from stored survival energy. 5. Conscious relationships are built on self-regulation Peace emerges when each person takes responsibility for their own nervous system. Notable Quotes • “When my preferences mattered more than my wife and my peace, it really did rule the house.” • “Anytime we held a preference and we wanted our preference more than peace, then it ruptured everything.” • “Preferences puncture peace.” • “It’s not a preference that we have fidelity in our marriage. It’s a standard.” • “I’d rather have peace than my preferences.” Call to Action 📘 Inner World, Outer World — Available Now on Amazon A guide to understanding how the inner world shapes the outer life. Order yours here! 👥 Message Mike or Angie Directly mike@innerwealthglobal.com angie@innerwealthglobal.com Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends My Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mikekitko Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mike_kitko Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mikekitko Subscribe to my YouTube: / @mikekitko