You got so much attention when you were fatter... Now we walk in and we're just old
Thu Feb 05 2026
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This episode of "Not Well" is a brutally honest, stream-of-consciousness conversation about navigating gay life in your 30s with all its contradictions and anxieties. The hosts dive deep into the psychological aftermath of major weight loss, discussing how losing 65-70 pounds has paradoxically made one of them feel less attractive in gay spaces—getting way more attention as a bigger bear than as a slimmer guy. They question whether it's the weight, aging, or just a combination of everything that's changed the dynamic when walking into bars.
The conversation spirals through modern absurdities: how delusional confidence seems to be the key to success (citing the Hawk Tuah girl making $15 million), generational differences in handling internet fame, and why their generation can't just embrace the chaos like younger people do. They touch on practical frustrations like airplane etiquette—specifically calling out first-class passengers who put backpacks in overhead bins—and the hilarious reality that TSA agents will move weed gummies aside to check electronics.
The episode gets vulnerable discussing body dysmorphia, balding, potential thyroid issues, and the complex relationship with hookup culture. One host reveals he actually needs emotional connection before sex and hates the idea of planned "sex dates," despite being perfectly fine with spontaneous bathroom encounters or random basement hookups. It's a fascinating contradiction that speaks to the difference between performative sexuality and genuine desire.
Throughout, there's constant self-awareness about their modest podcast success (hundreds of listeners, not thousands), frustration with social media narcissism, and the ongoing struggle to stay motivated during cold weather. The tone is profane, self-deprecating, and refreshingly authentic—two friends processing their lives out loud without filter.
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As always you can write us at nowellpodcast@gmail.com or call us at (614) 721-5336 and tell us your Not Wells of the week
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Help us continue to grow and create amazing content, like a live tour or just help fund some new headphones when needed. Any help is appreacited. https://www.buzzsprout.com/510487/subscribe
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Send us a text This episode of "Not Well" is a brutally honest, stream-of-consciousness conversation about navigating gay life in your 30s with all its contradictions and anxieties. The hosts dive deep into the psychological aftermath of major weight loss, discussing how losing 65-70 pounds has paradoxically made one of them feel less attractive in gay spaces—getting way more attention as a bigger bear than as a slimmer guy. They question whether it's the weight, aging, or just a combination of everything that's changed the dynamic when walking into bars. The conversation spirals through modern absurdities: how delusional confidence seems to be the key to success (citing the Hawk Tuah girl making $15 million), generational differences in handling internet fame, and why their generation can't just embrace the chaos like younger people do. They touch on practical frustrations like airplane etiquette—specifically calling out first-class passengers who put backpacks in overhead bins—and the hilarious reality that TSA agents will move weed gummies aside to check electronics. The episode gets vulnerable discussing body dysmorphia, balding, potential thyroid issues, and the complex relationship with hookup culture. One host reveals he actually needs emotional connection before sex and hates the idea of planned "sex dates," despite being perfectly fine with spontaneous bathroom encounters or random basement hookups. It's a fascinating contradiction that speaks to the difference between performative sexuality and genuine desire. Throughout, there's constant self-awareness about their modest podcast success (hundreds of listeners, not thousands), frustration with social media narcissism, and the ongoing struggle to stay motivated during cold weather. The tone is profane, self-deprecating, and refreshingly authentic—two friends processing their lives out loud without filter. Support the show As always you can write us at nowellpodcast@gmail.com or call us at (614) 721-5336 and tell us your Not Wells of the week Instagram Twitter Bobby's Only Fans Help us continue to grow and create amazing content, like a live tour or just help fund some new headphones when needed. Any help is appreacited. https://www.buzzsprout.com/510487/subscribe #gaypodcast #podcast #gay #lgbtq #queerpodcast #lgbt #lgbtpodcast #lgbtqpodcast #gaypodcaster #queer#instagay #podcasts #podcasting #gaylife #pride #lesbian #bhfyp #gaycomedy #comedypodcast #comedy #nyc #614 #shesnotdoingsowell #wiltonmanor #notwell