254: Stop Keeping Score: How to Feel More Loved (Without Begging for It)
Wed Feb 04 2026
Ever notice how love doesn’t usually fall apart with a bang…but with a quiet ugh?
A text that didn’t come. A plan that slipped. That weird moment where you realize you’re disappointed again and you don’t even know why.
In this episode, we talk about that feeling. The one that shows up when you’re doing your best to be chill, understanding, emotionally mature… and somehow still feeling unseen.
This isn’t a “lower your standards” talk. And it’s definitely not a “just be grateful” lecture.
We’re unpacking the invisible scorecards, unspoken expectations, and mental contracts we carry into relationships without realizing how much pressure they create for us and the people we love. Because when love starts feeling like a performance review, nobody wins.
Episode Resources
✨ Take the Heartbreak Quiz to uncover the protection pattern that turns expectations into disappointment.
✨ Join the Heal Your Heartbreak Challenge to release the emotional habits that keep love feeling heavy instead of supportive.
In this episode, we explore:
✨ Why expectation often disguises itself as love
✨ How keeping score quietly drains connection
✨ The difference between appreciation and settling (yes, there is one)
✨ Why asking for what you need doesn’t make love less meaningful
✨ How to keep your standards without living in constant disappointment
If you’ve ever thought,
“Why do I feel disappointed when nothing is technically wrong?”
This episode won’t hand you a script but it will help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface.
Get Started Here
✨ Book a Relationship Clarity Call to unpack the expectations you’re carrying in love, understand where they come from, and learn how to ask for what you need without resentment or self-abandonment.
Connect with Me
🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com
▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal
IG @sanaiyahgurnamal
@projectlovingmyselfpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More
Ever notice how love doesn’t usually fall apart with a bang…but with a quiet ugh? A text that didn’t come. A plan that slipped. That weird moment where you realize you’re disappointed again and you don’t even know why. In this episode, we talk about that feeling. The one that shows up when you’re doing your best to be chill, understanding, emotionally mature… and somehow still feeling unseen. This isn’t a “lower your standards” talk. And it’s definitely not a “just be grateful” lecture. We’re unpacking the invisible scorecards, unspoken expectations, and mental contracts we carry into relationships without realizing how much pressure they create for us and the people we love. Because when love starts feeling like a performance review, nobody wins. Episode Resources ✨ Take the Heartbreak Quiz to uncover the protection pattern that turns expectations into disappointment. ✨ Join the Heal Your Heartbreak Challenge to release the emotional habits that keep love feeling heavy instead of supportive. In this episode, we explore: ✨ Why expectation often disguises itself as love ✨ How keeping score quietly drains connection ✨ The difference between appreciation and settling (yes, there is one) ✨ Why asking for what you need doesn’t make love less meaningful ✨ How to keep your standards without living in constant disappointment If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I feel disappointed when nothing is technically wrong?” This episode won’t hand you a script but it will help you see what’s really happening beneath the surface. Get Started Here ✨ Book a Relationship Clarity Call to unpack the expectations you’re carrying in love, understand where they come from, and learn how to ask for what you need without resentment or self-abandonment. Connect with Me 🌐 www.sanaiyahgurnamal.com ▶️ @sanaiyahgurnamal IG @sanaiyahgurnamal @projectlovingmyselfpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.