EP 125: Real Confidence- You Don’t Need to Be Positive to Be Confident
Sun Feb 01 2026
Let’s talk about positivity—because if I hear one more person confuse it with denial, I might flip a table. I’m not talking about the smiley, everything’s-fine, toxic kind that makes you want to roll your eyes in a waiting room. I’m talking about the real version. The kind that exists even when life is messy, inconvenient, and objectively annoying. The kind that doesn’t require you to gaslight yourself into pretending everything is great when it clearly isn’t.
What got me thinking about this is how often positivity gets framed as naïve or fake, especially if you’re smart, skeptical or allergic to fluff (like I am!). Somewhere along the way, being realistic became synonymous with being negative. And honestly? That’s not confidence. That’s just living on edge.
I started wondering what it would look like to flip that default—assuming things are mostly okay unless proven otherwise, instead of waking up every day braced for impact.
This episode digs into the difference between performative positivity and the kind that actually supports confidence. The internal kind. The kind that changes how you interpret setbacks, how much stress you carry around and how much energy you waste on stuff that doesn’t deserve it. Not because you’re ignoring reality—but because you’re choosing how much power it gets to have over you.
If you’re tired, cynical or just done with self-help nonsense and want a version of positivity that actually makes you steadier, calmer and more confident (without turning you into that person), hit play.
This one might surprise you.
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Let’s talk about positivity—because if I hear one more person confuse it with denial, I might flip a table. I’m not talking about the smiley, everything’s-fine, toxic kind that makes you want to roll your eyes in a waiting room. I’m talking about the real version. The kind that exists even when life is messy, inconvenient, and objectively annoying. The kind that doesn’t require you to gaslight yourself into pretending everything is great when it clearly isn’t. What got me thinking about this is how often positivity gets framed as naïve or fake, especially if you’re smart, skeptical or allergic to fluff (like I am!). Somewhere along the way, being realistic became synonymous with being negative. And honestly? That’s not confidence. That’s just living on edge. I started wondering what it would look like to flip that default—assuming things are mostly okay unless proven otherwise, instead of waking up every day braced for impact. This episode digs into the difference between performative positivity and the kind that actually supports confidence. The internal kind. The kind that changes how you interpret setbacks, how much stress you carry around and how much energy you waste on stuff that doesn’t deserve it. Not because you’re ignoring reality—but because you’re choosing how much power it gets to have over you. If you’re tired, cynical or just done with self-help nonsense and want a version of positivity that actually makes you steadier, calmer and more confident (without turning you into that person), hit play. This one might surprise you.