The #1 Thing That Kills Attraction in Conflict (Stop Doing It)
Tue Feb 03 2026
Work with me 1-on-1: https://www.stumurray.com/coaching-apply
When she's upset, your instinct to fix her emotions is making it worse. Every time you try to calm her down, you're signaling you can't handle her emotions—and that's what makes her feel unsafe. In this video, I break down the 3 practices that changed how I show up in conflict and how my clients are using them to rebuild trust, respect, and attraction.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
- Why trying to fix her emotions always backfires
- The nervous system science of co-regulation
- 3 practices to stay grounded when she's emotional
- How to turn conflict into intimacy
I destroyed multiple relationships before learning this. Now I'm engaged and practice these daily. This is the training we never received.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Stop Trying to Fix Her Emotions (Why It Makes Her Feel Unsafe)
01:13 – The “Fixer” Pattern That Destroys Relationships
02:01 – Why Fixing Fails: It’s a Nervous System Issue
03:21 – Real Example: Money Stress & Learning to Stay Grounded
04:44 – Coregulation: How Your Calm Regulates Her Emotions
05:48 – What She’s Really Testing When She’s Emotional
08:18 – The 3 Practices to Stay Grounded During Conflict
14:30 – How Grounded Presence Rebuilds Trust, Sex & Attraction
#relationshipadvice #emotionalcapacity #relationshipvision #nervoussystem #gottman #neuroscience #marriage #men #selfimprovement #emotionalregulation #vulnerability #trust #sex #sexlife
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Work with me 1-on-1: https://www.stumurray.com/coaching-apply When she's upset, your instinct to fix her emotions is making it worse. Every time you try to calm her down, you're signaling you can't handle her emotions—and that's what makes her feel unsafe. In this video, I break down the 3 practices that changed how I show up in conflict and how my clients are using them to rebuild trust, respect, and attraction. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: - Why trying to fix her emotions always backfires - The nervous system science of co-regulation - 3 practices to stay grounded when she's emotional - How to turn conflict into intimacy I destroyed multiple relationships before learning this. Now I'm engaged and practice these daily. This is the training we never received. Timestamps: 00:00 – Stop Trying to Fix Her Emotions (Why It Makes Her Feel Unsafe) 01:13 – The “Fixer” Pattern That Destroys Relationships 02:01 – Why Fixing Fails: It’s a Nervous System Issue 03:21 – Real Example: Money Stress & Learning to Stay Grounded 04:44 – Coregulation: How Your Calm Regulates Her Emotions 05:48 – What She’s Really Testing When She’s Emotional 08:18 – The 3 Practices to Stay Grounded During Conflict 14:30 – How Grounded Presence Rebuilds Trust, Sex & Attraction #relationshipadvice #emotionalcapacity #relationshipvision #nervoussystem #gottman #neuroscience #marriage #men #selfimprovement #emotionalregulation #vulnerability #trust #sex #sexlife