The Ars Amorata Podcast

Send us a text Why treating dating as a “journey” quietly destroys love, authenticity and real connection with women—and what to do instead. WHAT YOU’LL LEARN - Why “getting good with women” often leads you away from what you actually want (love, not just sex) - The subtle harm—to yourself and others—of treating women as steps on a personal growth journey - Why neediness, manipulation and ego often disguise themselves as “progress” - How opening the heart changes everything—and how to navigate that messy, incremental and human process TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Highlights 06:30 Zan on hiding his fire when he was younger, and how it hurt 12:55 Why men try to babysit women (and why women hate it) 19:30 Self-imposed pain, comparison, and missed opportunities 23:57 How short relationships with beautiful women started Zan’s healing 31:30 Jordan’s early years: heartbreak → power → being the heartbreaker → bitter pills 47:30 Reframe: There is no journey—only you and the woman in front of you 50:45 Why heart matters more than energy or technique 1:01:20 The value of sitting with uncertainty and confusion 1:04:20 Live weekend intensive announcement 1:06:40 The end of this series—and what’s next *Do you see the women you meet as stepping stones to some future destination… or are you fully with the woman who’s in front of you right now?* If this conversation resonates, share your reflections in the comments. ABOUT THIS VIDEO: Many men in our circle approach dating as a journey. A path. A process of improvement that will one day deliver them to love, confidence, or mastery with women. But when women sense they’re being treated ‘merely’ as part of that journey—as a lesson, a test, or a stepping stone—something essential disappears. This episode explores the quiet damage caused by turning intimacy into a project. Zan and Jordan speak candidly about the confusion, ego, missteps, heartbreak, and slow reckonings that shaped their understanding of love. From hiding one’s fire, to misusing power, to losing the heart entirely and finding it again. What emerges is a simple truth: there is no journey. There is only the woman in front of you, and the quality of presence, honesty, and heart you bring to that moment. #zanperrion #fearofintimacy #dating #mendating #flirting #datingadviceformen #flirttips #relationship #jealousy  ____________________________________________________ Read The Full Amorati Guild Invitation → https://arsamorata.com/guild/ ____________________________________ Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/ ____________________________________ Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com ____________________________________ Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion 🎁 : https://amorati.me/free-gift/ ____________________________________ Join our newsletter here & get all our latest: https://arsamorata.com/#joincommunity ____________________________________________________ ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure. Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social s Support the show