Self Care & Support | Self-Gaslighting After Separation: When You Stop Trusting Your Own Reality
Wed Jan 28 2026
If you're separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong…" this episode is for you.
One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn't confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It's people quietly doubting their own reality. There's a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends.
In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in yourself safely and slowly.
In this episode, we cover: What self-gaslighting is (and how it differs from everyday self-doubt).
Why divorce/separation can make your inner critic louder even if leaving was the right call.
The "quiet, reasonable" thoughts that slowly erode self-trust.
Two real-world examples (Sarah + Tom) and how self-gaslighting shows up differently.
Practical ways to start coming back to your reality, your instincts, and your steadiness.
Let's Keep the Conversation Going:
Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this.
Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub.
The Divorce and Separation Hub Website
The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram
The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook
The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin
Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE.
Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE.
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Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now.
This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions.
This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict.
Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au.
Disclaimer
I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.
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If you're separated (or separating) and you keep replaying the past, rewriting conversations, and wondering "Maybe I'm the one who's wrong…" this episode is for you. One of the most common (and most unsettling) things I see after a breakup isn't confusion about money, logistics, or parenting schedules. It's people quietly doubting their own reality. There's a name for it: self-gaslighting and it can keep you stuck long after the relationship ends. In this short solo episode, I explain what self-gaslighting is, why separation turns up the volume, and how to rebuild trust in yourself safely and slowly. In this episode, we cover: What self-gaslighting is (and how it differs from everyday self-doubt). Why divorce/separation can make your inner critic louder even if leaving was the right call. The "quiet, reasonable" thoughts that slowly erode self-trust. Two real-world examples (Sarah + Tom) and how self-gaslighting shows up differently. Practical ways to start coming back to your reality, your instincts, and your steadiness. Let's Keep the Conversation Going: Visit Divorce and Separation Hub to explore expert resources, courses, and programs tailored to your needs. Share your questions or comments you're not alone in this. Host: Nikki Parkinson, TEDx Speaker, Divorce Doula, Coach and Founder of The Divorce and Separation Hub. The Divorce and Separation Hub Website The Divorce and Separation Hub Instagram The Divorce and Separation Hub Facebook The Divorce and Separation Hub Linkedin Join our Divorce and Separation community HERE. Watch Nikki's TEDx Talk HERE. Loved This Episode? Support the podcast by subscribing, leaving a five-star review, and sharing it with someone who could use a little extra support right now. This episode is produced by Dan King of Dan King Productions. This episode is sposnored by Simple Separation, the smarter way to separate. Simple Separation is an online, fixed-fee service designed to help Australian couples finalise their divorce and separation respectfully, collaboratively, and without the stress of going to court. From property settlements and parenting plans to child support and divorce applications, everything you need is under one roof, saving you time, money, and unnecessary conflict. Book your free consultation today to find out if Simple Separation is right for your situation at simple-separation.com.au. Disclaimer I hope you enjoyed the podcast today. The information we discussed today was just that information only. It is not specific advice. If you take action following something you heard today, it is important to make sure you get professional advice about your unique situation before you proceed, whether that advice be legal, financial, accounting, medical or other advice. Please reach out to me if you have any questions or if there's another topic you'd like explored.