The Gifts of Trauma

Hosted by Rosemary Davies-Janes & J'aime Rothbard.  Produced by J'aime Rothbard. How do smart, accomplished people end up in emotionally abusive relationships without realizing it? As both a trauma coach and former victim, Paul illuminates how emotional abuse operates through fear, manipulation, and control—and why it's so difficult to recognize and name. He also touches on common signs; chronic invalidation, gaslighting, control disguised as concern, walking on eggshells, confusion, toxic shame, and how our earliest attachments can create susceptibility.  In this conversation, Paul shares - The seven common signs of emotional abuse, from chronic invalidation to walking on eggshells - Why acknowledging "it was wrong and it wasn't your fault" creates profound healing release - The crucial difference between being victimized and staying in victim mode - How compassion—for ourselves and our wounded inner child—can open a path to freedom. Healing requires both acknowledging our childhood wounds and taking 100% responsibility for our recovery. This conversation offers crucial insights for anyone who is (or has) experienced (or perpetrated) emotional abuse. It invites unaware abusers to recognize these patterns and engage in their own healing. About Paul Noiles,  Trauma, Addiction & Awakening Coach Trained and certified in the 1-year intensive Compassion Inquiry® Course with Gabor Mate, as well as Suicide Prevention, Motivational Intervening and Spiritual Awakening, Paul has practiced daily mediation for 17years. He has worked at 4 world-class treatment centers, served on the board of Possibilities Treatment Center (Saskatoon), held roles in Marketing, Health and Wellness, Fitness and Health Education and Facilitated Family and Aftercare Programs.  As a person of long-term recovery, Paul believes all addictions track back to the pain of a Mistaken Identity. The solution is knowing our innate truth through an awakening of consciousness. His raw, intimate sharing of his experiences, in his book Mistaken Identity: A Sacred Journey from Addiction to Awakening, restores hope for many in the grip of addiction.  Promotional Message If you've been listening to our podcast and are curious about the transformative power of Compassionate Inquiry®, join us for a 6-hour online experiential introduction to the Compassionate Inquiry approach and community.  This link takes you to a web page where you can get information and, if you choose, register for the CI Experience.  Resources: Websites: Paul's Professional Website:  Related Links: What is Emotional Abuse? National Domestic Abuse Hotline Emotional and Psychological Abuse Statistics Books: Mistaken Identity If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad? The Gift of Fear Courses: Compassionate Inquiry Intensive 1-Year Course How and When to Leave a Relationship Videos: 7 Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse 7 Signs You're Emotionally Abusive To Others  Quotes: "Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two my life flows." - Nisargadatta Maharaj "Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." Just as a knife does not cut itself, fire does not burn itself, light doesn't illuminate itself. It's always an endless mystery to itself" - Alan Watts ""Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you." - Eckhart Tolle "When I was young and stupid, at age eighty, I was quite capable of being a two year old emotionally depending on what was  triggering me" - Gabor Maté "Only when compassion is present will people allow themselves to see the truth." - A.H. Almaas Social Media FB: IG: TT: YT LI