When “Who Am I?” Stops Working: Identity, Loss, and Presence
Thu Feb 05 2026
What happens when the question “Who am I?” quietly turns into a trap - one that keeps us analyzing life instead of inhabiting it?
In this episode, I explore how identity often forms around loss, labels, and roles, and how even sincere attempts to understand ourselves can postpone presence. Drawing reflections from novels such as Where the Crawdads Sing, The Forgotten Garden, Spare, and Remarkably Bright Creatures, we look at identity shaped by absence: by what’s been lost, imposed, deferred, or never fully supported to grow.
I share personal reflections on grief, childhood labels that echo into adulthood, and the subtle habit of translating lived experience into meaning before it has time to settle. We also touch on how spiritual seeking can mirror the same pattern - replacing family history with past lives or cosmic origin stories - when the underlying promise remains, “I’ll arrive once I know enough.”
Rather than abandoning curiosity, this episode invites a gentler pivot: from Who am I? to Am I here? When presence comes first, identity loosens its grip and becomes something lived rather than solved.
Listen, breathe, and notice what remains when the stories set down their weight.
Work with me one-on-one
Connect on Social - TikTok and Instagram
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What happens when the question “Who am I?” quietly turns into a trap - one that keeps us analyzing life instead of inhabiting it? In this episode, I explore how identity often forms around loss, labels, and roles, and how even sincere attempts to understand ourselves can postpone presence. Drawing reflections from novels such as Where the Crawdads Sing, The Forgotten Garden, Spare, and Remarkably Bright Creatures, we look at identity shaped by absence: by what’s been lost, imposed, deferred, or never fully supported to grow. I share personal reflections on grief, childhood labels that echo into adulthood, and the subtle habit of translating lived experience into meaning before it has time to settle. We also touch on how spiritual seeking can mirror the same pattern - replacing family history with past lives or cosmic origin stories - when the underlying promise remains, “I’ll arrive once I know enough.” Rather than abandoning curiosity, this episode invites a gentler pivot: from Who am I? to Am I here? When presence comes first, identity loosens its grip and becomes something lived rather than solved. Listen, breathe, and notice what remains when the stories set down their weight. Work with me one-on-one Connect on Social - TikTok and Instagram