Grief Is Not a Problem to Solve with Steve Carter
Tue Feb 03 2026
A leadership calling can unravel faster than anyone expects.
Tim Meisenheimer sits down with Steve Carter, bestselling author and former lead teaching pastor at Willow Creek, to talk about integrity, grief, and what it means to choose the right path when the cost is public, painful, and personal.
Steve shares the story of preparing to step into one of the most visible church leadership roles in the countryâonly to watch it dissolve as scandal surfaced around his mentor and organization. In the middle of uncertainty, pressure, and loss, Steve was forced to confront a defining question: Would he choose what was easier, or what was right?
Anchored by the West Point Cadet Prayer's line "help us to choose the harder right," the conversation explores how values like integrity, humility, wisdom, and discernment become essential guides when fear clouds decision-making. Steve also opens up about griefâwhy you can't achieve your way out of it, why silence matters, and how seasons of waiting often become the soil where transformation takes root.
This conversation is for leaders, parents, and high-capacity people navigating loss, transition, or disappointmentâand looking for a way forward that doesn't cost them their soul.
What We Learned Why choosing the right thing is often hardest when identity and security are at stake
How values act as filters when fear and pressure distort decision-making
Why integrity is formed long before it's publicly tested
Why grief cannot be solved through productivity or achievement
How unprocessed grief quietly turns into resentment
The importance of honoring grief rather than rushing past it
How the framework of Good Friday, Silent Saturday, and Easter Sunday shapes a healthy theology of loss and hope
Why waiting is not wasted time, even when answers don't come quickly
How children and families learn courage by watching adults choose integrity
What surrender looks like when the future remains unclear
Resources Mentioned Grieve, Breathe, Receive â Steve Carter
A book on grief, loss, and learning how to receive life again after disappointment.
The Thing Beneath the Thing â Steve Carter
Exploring the deeper drivers beneath behavior, leadership, and decision-making.
The West Point Cadet Prayer
Referenced for the line: "Help us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong."
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00:00 Introduction to Wealth Beyond RichesÂ
01:02 Steve's Journey: From Dream Job to Crisis
02:58 Lessons from Career TransitionsÂ
04:59 The Harder Right: Integrity and LegacyÂ
13:36 Guiding Values: Curiosity and HumilityÂ
20:07 Developing and Assessing ResourcesÂ
22:02 Learning to GrieveÂ
27:53 The Power of Surrender
31:23 Preparing for Transitions
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A leadership calling can unravel faster than anyone expects. Tim Meisenheimer sits down with Steve Carter, bestselling author and former lead teaching pastor at Willow Creek, to talk about integrity, grief, and what it means to choose the right path when the cost is public, painful, and personal. Steve shares the story of preparing to step into one of the most visible church leadership roles in the countryâonly to watch it dissolve as scandal surfaced around his mentor and organization. In the middle of uncertainty, pressure, and loss, Steve was forced to confront a defining question: Would he choose what was easier, or what was right? Anchored by the West Point Cadet Prayer's line "help us to choose the harder right," the conversation explores how values like integrity, humility, wisdom, and discernment become essential guides when fear clouds decision-making. Steve also opens up about griefâwhy you can't achieve your way out of it, why silence matters, and how seasons of waiting often become the soil where transformation takes root. This conversation is for leaders, parents, and high-capacity people navigating loss, transition, or disappointmentâand looking for a way forward that doesn't cost them their soul. What We Learned Why choosing the right thing is often hardest when identity and security are at stake How values act as filters when fear and pressure distort decision-making Why integrity is formed long before it's publicly tested Why grief cannot be solved through productivity or achievement How unprocessed grief quietly turns into resentment The importance of honoring grief rather than rushing past it How the framework of Good Friday, Silent Saturday, and Easter Sunday shapes a healthy theology of loss and hope Why waiting is not wasted time, even when answers don't come quickly How children and families learn courage by watching adults choose integrity What surrender looks like when the future remains unclear Resources Mentioned Grieve, Breathe, Receive â Steve Carter A book on grief, loss, and learning how to receive life again after disappointment. The Thing Beneath the Thing â Steve Carter Exploring the deeper drivers beneath behavior, leadership, and decision-making. The West Point Cadet Prayer Referenced for the line: "Help us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong."  00:00 Introduction to Wealth Beyond Riches 01:02 Steve's Journey: From Dream Job to Crisis 02:58 Lessons from Career Transitions 04:59 The Harder Right: Integrity and Legacy 13:36 Guiding Values: Curiosity and Humility 20:07 Developing and Assessing Resources 22:02 Learning to Grieve 27:53 The Power of Surrender 31:23 Preparing for Transitions