Loving Twice: How I Honor My Past While Embracing My Future
Sat May 31 2025
After losing my husband to cancer in 2020, I embarked on what felt like an impossible journey—finding purpose in my shattered world. In this final episode, I reflect on the path I've traveled from wife to caregiver to widow to now embracing my whole new life.
The grief journey has been anything but linear. I've fallen countless times but somehow found the strength to rise again. Through raw journal entries, therapy sessions, and painful "firsts," I've documented the rollercoaster of widowhood across 30 episodes—one for each year I spent with John. From the depths of despair in those early days to my November 2022 epiphany when I realized I was no longer searching for my new life but actually living it, this podcast has chronicled every step.
What I never expected was finding love again with someone who truly understands. In late 2023, believing I needed to connect with someone who "got it," I met another widower—also named John—who lost his wife to cancer after 30 years together. The parallels in our stories created an immediate bond of understanding that has blossomed into a relationship where we honor our past loves while building a future together. I'm sharing his story too, as he bravely opens up about caregiving, loneliness, and finding connection after loss.
As I close this chapter of sharing my widow journey, I do so with peace in my heart and gratitude for both the life I had and the one unfolding before me. My hope has always been to help others feel less alone—whether you're walking the widow path or supporting someone who is. Thank you for walking alongside me.
StacyRyanAuthor.com
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After losing my husband to cancer in 2020, I embarked on what felt like an impossible journey—finding purpose in my shattered world. In this final episode, I reflect on the path I've traveled from wife to caregiver to widow to now embracing my whole new life. The grief journey has been anything but linear. I've fallen countless times but somehow found the strength to rise again. Through raw journal entries, therapy sessions, and painful "firsts," I've documented the rollercoaster of widowhood across 30 episodes—one for each year I spent with John. From the depths of despair in those early days to my November 2022 epiphany when I realized I was no longer searching for my new life but actually living it, this podcast has chronicled every step. What I never expected was finding love again with someone who truly understands. In late 2023, believing I needed to connect with someone who "got it," I met another widower—also named John—who lost his wife to cancer after 30 years together. The parallels in our stories created an immediate bond of understanding that has blossomed into a relationship where we honor our past loves while building a future together. I'm sharing his story too, as he bravely opens up about caregiving, loneliness, and finding connection after loss. As I close this chapter of sharing my widow journey, I do so with peace in my heart and gratitude for both the life I had and the one unfolding before me. My hope has always been to help others feel less alone—whether you're walking the widow path or supporting someone who is. Thank you for walking alongside me. StacyRyanAuthor.com