The Future of Leadership Doesn't Require Self-Abandonment | Ep #58
Fri Feb 06 2026
📜 Summary Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that advancement requires becoming someone else.
Speak up more.
Be more visible.
Get comfortable with self-promotion.
Adapt to the culture.
And maybe it worked—at least on paper.
In this episode, I name a truth that doesn't get talked about enough: self-abandonment is often rewarded early in our careers—but it becomes unsustainable at higher levels of leadership.
I break down how women of color, especially introverted women of color, are conditioned to perform a version of leadership that was never designed with us in mind—and why that performance comes at a steep cost: our energy, our health, our creativity, and eventually our careers.
We explore:
Why "executive presence" and similar feedback often masks a deeper systemic issue
How code-switching, masking, and constant self-monitoring quietly drain your capacity
Why performance may get you promoted—but stalls you at the next level
The difference between burnout from work and burnout from inauthenticity
How energy, presence, and conviction—not performance—create real influence
I also reframe the Peter Principle through an identity lens: when you perform a version of leadership that isn't yours, you don't just rise to the level of incompetence—you rise to the level of inauthenticity. And performance doesn't scale.
This episode is an invitation to stop treating self-abandonment as a strategy and start leading from a place of alignment, embodiment, and trust in who you already are.
If you've ever felt exhausted not by the work itself—but by who you have to be to do the work—this conversation is for you.
📖 Chapters 00:00 The Cost of Becoming Someone You Don't Recognize
02:00 Why Corporate Standards Were Never Designed for You
05:00 Performance, Promotion & the Bigger Cage
06:00 The Peter Principle — Reframed Through Identity
09:00 Burnout Isn't About the Work, It's About the Performance
12:00 Why Energy Always Tells the Truth
15:00 Leadership Is Connection — And Performance Blocks It
16:00 What Happens When You Lead Anchored vs. Masked
18:00 Reclaiming Quiet Strength, Depth & Discernment
21:00 Where Are You Abandoning Yourself and Calling It Strategy?
23:00 Leading Beyond the Title — Without Self-Betrayal
🔗 Work With Me: 1:1 Leadership & Career Coaching
If you're a woman of color who wants to grow your career without becoming someone you don't recognize—this coaching is for you.
Together, we'll define your leadership on your terms, create visibility that doesn't require performance, and strengthen the relationships that actually shape decisions—so you stop waiting to be picked and start being pursued.
🔗 Apply for 1:1 coaching by booking a call here:
BOOK A CALL HERE
Where to Find TaSheena
Sign up for "A Seat At The Table," my Weekly Newsletter that empowers WOC leaders and their teams to build their own seats at the table.
LinkedIn | Instagram | Website | TikTok
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📜 Summary Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that advancement requires becoming someone else. Speak up more. Be more visible. Get comfortable with self-promotion. Adapt to the culture. And maybe it worked—at least on paper. In this episode, I name a truth that doesn't get talked about enough: self-abandonment is often rewarded early in our careers—but it becomes unsustainable at higher levels of leadership. I break down how women of color, especially introverted women of color, are conditioned to perform a version of leadership that was never designed with us in mind—and why that performance comes at a steep cost: our energy, our health, our creativity, and eventually our careers. We explore: Why "executive presence" and similar feedback often masks a deeper systemic issue How code-switching, masking, and constant self-monitoring quietly drain your capacity Why performance may get you promoted—but stalls you at the next level The difference between burnout from work and burnout from inauthenticity How energy, presence, and conviction—not performance—create real influence I also reframe the Peter Principle through an identity lens: when you perform a version of leadership that isn't yours, you don't just rise to the level of incompetence—you rise to the level of inauthenticity. And performance doesn't scale. This episode is an invitation to stop treating self-abandonment as a strategy and start leading from a place of alignment, embodiment, and trust in who you already are. If you've ever felt exhausted not by the work itself—but by who you have to be to do the work—this conversation is for you. 📖 Chapters 00:00 The Cost of Becoming Someone You Don't Recognize 02:00 Why Corporate Standards Were Never Designed for You 05:00 Performance, Promotion & the Bigger Cage 06:00 The Peter Principle — Reframed Through Identity 09:00 Burnout Isn't About the Work, It's About the Performance 12:00 Why Energy Always Tells the Truth 15:00 Leadership Is Connection — And Performance Blocks It 16:00 What Happens When You Lead Anchored vs. Masked 18:00 Reclaiming Quiet Strength, Depth & Discernment 21:00 Where Are You Abandoning Yourself and Calling It Strategy? 23:00 Leading Beyond the Title — Without Self-Betrayal 🔗 Work With Me: 1:1 Leadership & Career Coaching If you're a woman of color who wants to grow your career without becoming someone you don't recognize—this coaching is for you. Together, we'll define your leadership on your terms, create visibility that doesn't require performance, and strengthen the relationships that actually shape decisions—so you stop waiting to be picked and start being pursued. 🔗 Apply for 1:1 coaching by booking a call here: BOOK A CALL HERE Where to Find TaSheena Sign up for "A Seat At The Table," my Weekly Newsletter that empowers WOC leaders and their teams to build their own seats at the table. LinkedIn | Instagram | Website | TikTok