EP208 Stop Waiting for Permission to Belong
Wed Feb 04 2026
Send us a text
Ever walked into a networking event or professional gathering wondering if you're wearing the right thing, saying the right things, or even supposed to be there? You're not alone. In this episode, hosts Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford reveal a simple mental shift that can transform how you show up in any room—and it has nothing to do with what others think of you.
Angela introduces the powerful concept of "host energy vs guest energy" and explains why belonging isn't something others grant you—it's something you claim for yourself. Learn how shifting from waiting for validation to actively creating welcome can change not just how you feel, but how everyone around you experiences the space.
What You'll Learn
The difference between "guest energy" (waiting for confirmation you belong) and "host energy" (owning your presence and welcoming others)Why belonging is a decision you make, not permission others giveHow abandonment issues can impact your sense of belongingPractical ways to make others feel included (even when you're uncertain yourself)The "empty chair philosophy" and other subtle gestures that create belongingWhen it's healthy to leave rooms where you no longer want to belongWhy being the smartest person in the room might mean you're in the wrong room
Key Takeaways
"I belong to me" - Angela's breakthrough realization that belonging starts with self-acceptance, not external validationThe host energy shift - When you walk into any space focused on making others feel welcome, you automatically claim your own belongingFake it till you make it (sort of) - Even if you're uncertain about your own belonging, affirming others' belonging creates a positive feedback loopSmall gestures matter - From making space in circles to always having an empty chair, little acts of inclusion compoundChoose your rooms wisely - You get to decide which spaces align with who you want to be, and it's okay to consciously leave communities that no longer serve youResources Mentioned
Traveling Light - Angela's program featuring the seven core beliefs, including belongingBelief Assessment - Tool used in Angela and Sami's executive coachingBob Goff's Writers Conference - Example of host energy in actionGallup StrengthsFinder - Assessment that identified Sami's "inclusion" strength
About the Hosts
Sami Kinnison naturally scores high on belonging and has "inclusion" as one of her top Gallup strengths. She's passionate about making sure everyone has space in the circle.
Angela Belford has deeply studied belonging through the lens of abandonment and teaches the seven core beliefs in her Traveling Light program and executive coaching practice.
Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!
Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.
Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.
Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.
More
Send us a text Ever walked into a networking event or professional gathering wondering if you're wearing the right thing, saying the right things, or even supposed to be there? You're not alone. In this episode, hosts Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford reveal a simple mental shift that can transform how you show up in any room—and it has nothing to do with what others think of you. Angela introduces the powerful concept of "host energy vs guest energy" and explains why belonging isn't something others grant you—it's something you claim for yourself. Learn how shifting from waiting for validation to actively creating welcome can change not just how you feel, but how everyone around you experiences the space. What You'll Learn The difference between "guest energy" (waiting for confirmation you belong) and "host energy" (owning your presence and welcoming others)Why belonging is a decision you make, not permission others giveHow abandonment issues can impact your sense of belongingPractical ways to make others feel included (even when you're uncertain yourself)The "empty chair philosophy" and other subtle gestures that create belongingWhen it's healthy to leave rooms where you no longer want to belongWhy being the smartest person in the room might mean you're in the wrong room Key Takeaways "I belong to me" - Angela's breakthrough realization that belonging starts with self-acceptance, not external validationThe host energy shift - When you walk into any space focused on making others feel welcome, you automatically claim your own belongingFake it till you make it (sort of) - Even if you're uncertain about your own belonging, affirming others' belonging creates a positive feedback loopSmall gestures matter - From making space in circles to always having an empty chair, little acts of inclusion compoundChoose your rooms wisely - You get to decide which spaces align with who you want to be, and it's okay to consciously leave communities that no longer serve youResources Mentioned Traveling Light - Angela's program featuring the seven core beliefs, including belongingBelief Assessment - Tool used in Angela and Sami's executive coachingBob Goff's Writers Conference - Example of host energy in actionGallup StrengthsFinder - Assessment that identified Sami's "inclusion" strength About the Hosts Sami Kinnison naturally scores high on belonging and has "inclusion" as one of her top Gallup strengths. She's passionate about making sure everyone has space in the circle. Angela Belford has deeply studied belonging through the lens of abandonment and teaches the seven core beliefs in her Traveling Light program and executive coaching practice. Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books! Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox. Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram. Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.