Defensiveness Isn’t the Problem: Mental Load, Standards, and Self-Trust in Motherhood
Tue Feb 03 2026
In this episode of the Bodyful Minds Podcast, I explore why defensiveness shows up so often for high-achieving mothers — especially around mental load, standards, and partnership.
If conversations about who does what at home quickly turn tense, this episode offers a different lens. Instead of seeing defensiveness as a communication problem or resistance to change, we look at it as information — a sign of care, responsibility, and a nervous system that has been in constant “on-mode” for too long.
I unpack:
why mothers are often held to higher standards than fathers
how unequal evaluation erodes self-trust over time
why “letting go” isn’t neutral when one person carries the social and emotional cost
how children’s needs quietly shape mental load decisions
and how body awareness creates space to question inherited standards and choose new ones — together
This episode is not about doing less, lowering standards, or asking for help.
It’s about reconnecting with yourself through the body, restoring self-trust, and creating shared responsibility that reflects the life you actually want to live — not just the one society expects.
If you’re an ambitious mother who wants to carry your responsibility without constant bracing, this conversation is for you.
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In this episode of the Bodyful Minds Podcast, I explore why defensiveness shows up so often for high-achieving mothers — especially around mental load, standards, and partnership. If conversations about who does what at home quickly turn tense, this episode offers a different lens. Instead of seeing defensiveness as a communication problem or resistance to change, we look at it as information — a sign of care, responsibility, and a nervous system that has been in constant “on-mode” for too long. I unpack: why mothers are often held to higher standards than fathers how unequal evaluation erodes self-trust over time why “letting go” isn’t neutral when one person carries the social and emotional cost how children’s needs quietly shape mental load decisions and how body awareness creates space to question inherited standards and choose new ones — together This episode is not about doing less, lowering standards, or asking for help. It’s about reconnecting with yourself through the body, restoring self-trust, and creating shared responsibility that reflects the life you actually want to live — not just the one society expects. If you’re an ambitious mother who wants to carry your responsibility without constant bracing, this conversation is for you.