The Lost Art Of Struggle | CP239
Fri Jan 16 2026
In today’s episode, I explore an important topic in modern parenting: the importance of struggle, and how easily it’s being lost in a world shaped by convenience, technology, and AI. While AI is part of the conversation, this episode goes deeper, focusing on what happens when children no longer get enough practice doing hard things.
I explain why struggle is not a problem to eliminate, but a critical part of healthy brain development. When kids wrestle with challenges, frustration, effort, and uncertainty, they build resilience, problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and confidence.
These capacities don’t come from ease or shortcuts, they come from experience.
The episode gently challenges the instinct to smooth the path too much for our children, especially when tools like AI can quickly remove discomfort.
Throughout the conversation, the message is clear: kids don’t need life to be harder, but they do need meaningful struggle. When parents stay present, encouraging, and regulated, children learn that they can tolerate difficulty and come out stronger on the other side.
Jennifer's Takeaways:
The Importance of Struggle in Parenting (00:00)Understanding Dopamine and Its Role in Motivation (00:48)The Impact of Technology on Children's Motivation (03:37)The Concept of Optimal Frustration (05:33)The Role of AI in Education and Parenting (09:13)Building Resilience and Mental Health (14:13)The Importance of Valuing the Process Over the Outcome (14:50)The Role of Parents in Guiding Children's Development (19:44)The Impact of AI on Emotional Maturity and Resilience (19:56)
Meet Jennifer Kolari
Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.
Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.
Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.
One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
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In today’s episode, I explore an important topic in modern parenting: the importance of struggle, and how easily it’s being lost in a world shaped by convenience, technology, and AI. While AI is part of the conversation, this episode goes deeper, focusing on what happens when children no longer get enough practice doing hard things. I explain why struggle is not a problem to eliminate, but a critical part of healthy brain development. When kids wrestle with challenges, frustration, effort, and uncertainty, they build resilience, problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and confidence. These capacities don’t come from ease or shortcuts, they come from experience. The episode gently challenges the instinct to smooth the path too much for our children, especially when tools like AI can quickly remove discomfort. Throughout the conversation, the message is clear: kids don’t need life to be harder, but they do need meaningful struggle. When parents stay present, encouraging, and regulated, children learn that they can tolerate difficulty and come out stronger on the other side. Jennifer's Takeaways: The Importance of Struggle in Parenting (00:00)Understanding Dopamine and Its Role in Motivation (00:48)The Impact of Technology on Children's Motivation (03:37)The Concept of Optimal Frustration (05:33)The Role of AI in Education and Parenting (09:13)Building Resilience and Mental Health (14:13)The Importance of Valuing the Process Over the Outcome (14:50)The Role of Parents in Guiding Children's Development (19:44)The Impact of AI on Emotional Maturity and Resilience (19:56) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family. Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers. Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies. Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia. One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).