Delight in Parenting with Dajana Yoakley

Ever notice how you can be reading all the parenting books, practicing mindfulness, doing everything “right”—and still find yourself yelling at your child over something that doesn’t even matter? I recently sat down with Clara Roulev, a certified peaceful parenting and mind-body coach, registered yoga teacher, and founder of Share Peace Parenting. Clara specializes in helping parents understand their reactivity at the nervous system level—not just managing symptoms, but addressing the root causes of why we lose it with our kids. Clara’s own story will probably sound familiar. She set out to be a conscious parent, armed with books and determination. But when her toddler started pushing her buttons, she was stunned by her own reactions. Her jaw would get tight, her voice would get loud, her arms would tense up—and she felt completely ashamed afterward, like she was a terrible mother. The turning point came when she stopped fighting her anger and started listening to it. What she discovered changed everything: underneath that rage was fear, loneliness, and a part of her that desperately needed compassion. And here’s the powerful part—the moment she could hold herself with compassion, she could suddenly hold her child with compassion too. The next time her child did the same triggering behavior, something different happened. Clara could feel her feet on the ground. She could place a hand on her heart and say to herself, “You’re having such a hard time right now. This is hard.” She could feel her prefrontal cortex starting to shut down, notice the anger rising like a wave through her body—and she had a choice. In this eye-opening conversation, Clara shares three powerful insights that can change how you experience your own anger: Your Anger Isn’t a Character Flaw—It’s Your Nervous System Trying to Protect You When you “flip your lid” and lose it with your child, your prefrontal cortex literally goes offline and your survival brain takes over. This isn’t a personal failing. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do when it perceives a threat. Understanding this removes the shame and opens the door to actually working with your anger instead of against it. Movement Before Meaning—Your Body Needs to Regulate Before Your Brain Can Think You can’t think your way out of an angry moment because your rational brain isn’t online yet. Your nervous system needs physical regulation first. This is why pressing your feet into the floor, placing a hand on your heart, or even shaking out the energy works when “just calm down” doesn’t. Clara walks you through specific body-based practices that help you find your way back to regulation. Clara also introduces her “Anger Map” framework—a practical guide through four phases: noticing the trigger, moving through the activation in your body, returning to regulation, and repairing connection. The key is practicing these steps when you’re calm, not waiting until you’re in the middle of a meltdown. Your nervous system needs practice runs, like fire drills, so it knows what to do when the real moment comes. Ready to stop feeling ashamed of your anger and start understanding what it’s trying to tell you? Listen to the full conversation to discover how to work with your nervous system instead of fighting against it—and download Clara’s free Anger Map to start practicing today. Download the Free Anger Map: https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com/a-n-g-e-r-map To learn more about Clara Roulev & Share Peace Parenting: https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com Book A Call with Clara: https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com/free-20-minute-clarity-call Connect with Dajana Yoakley Delight in Parenting Step #1: Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide. Step #2: Book a FREE 20 minute parent coaching consult with Dajana.Step #3: Connect With The FREE Facebook Community.Step #4: Follow me on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/www.youtube.com/@DelightinParentinghttps://www.linkedin.com/in/delightinparenting/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit delightinparenting.substack.com/subscribe