Parenting a Spicy Child: How to Stay Calm, Set Boundaries, and Keep the Connection :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 558]
Mon Feb 02 2026
Parenting a spicy child can feel overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting, especially when traditional parenting advice just doesn’t work. In this episode, Mary Van Geffen joins us to talk about what it really means to parent a strong-willed, spirited, intense child without losing yourself or crushing their spirit.
So often, as moms, we unknowingly tie our identity and worth to how our children behave. When our kids are calm, compliant, or successful, we feel like we are doing a good job. When they are loud, explosive, or struggling, we internalize it as failure. Parenting a spicy child brings this tension to the surface and forces us to ask deeper questions about where our identity really comes from. This conversation invites moms to loosen their grip on performance-based parenting and remember that our value is not measured by our child’s behavior, but by who we are and whose we are.
Here is some of what we cover:
How to stay connected to your child so you can guide them long-term
A practical calm down recipe for flare-ups and explosive moments
How to set boundaries without crushing your child’s spirit
Why you are not responsible for your child’s happiness
How to support the mild child in a family with a spicy sibling
Connect with Mary Van Geffen:
Instagram: 🌶️Parenting Education Classes (@maryvangeffen)
Facebook: Mary Van Geffen
Website: Mary Van Geffen
Links Mentioned:
Parenting a Spicy One: By Mary Van Geffen
The Cost of Control: By Sharon Hodde Miller
Start Here- Quiz — Mary Van Geffen
Related Episodes:
Parenting as a Highly Sensitive Person :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 438]
Body Awareness in Parenting :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 333]
How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479]
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Parenting a spicy child can feel overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting, especially when traditional parenting advice just doesn’t work. In this episode, Mary Van Geffen joins us to talk about what it really means to parent a strong-willed, spirited, intense child without losing yourself or crushing their spirit. So often, as moms, we unknowingly tie our identity and worth to how our children behave. When our kids are calm, compliant, or successful, we feel like we are doing a good job. When they are loud, explosive, or struggling, we internalize it as failure. Parenting a spicy child brings this tension to the surface and forces us to ask deeper questions about where our identity really comes from. This conversation invites moms to loosen their grip on performance-based parenting and remember that our value is not measured by our child’s behavior, but by who we are and whose we are. Here is some of what we cover: How to stay connected to your child so you can guide them long-term A practical calm down recipe for flare-ups and explosive moments How to set boundaries without crushing your child’s spirit Why you are not responsible for your child’s happiness How to support the mild child in a family with a spicy sibling Connect with Mary Van Geffen: Instagram: 🌶️Parenting Education Classes (@maryvangeffen) Facebook: Mary Van Geffen Website: Mary Van Geffen Links Mentioned: Parenting a Spicy One: By Mary Van Geffen The Cost of Control: By Sharon Hodde Miller Start Here- Quiz — Mary Van Geffen Related Episodes: Parenting as a Highly Sensitive Person :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 438] Body Awareness in Parenting :: Mary Van Geffen [Ep 333] How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Featured Sponsors: Barefaced: If you want to see results and find a skincare routine you’ll actually stick to, this is where I recommend starting. Head to barefaced.com and use code DMA for 15% off at checkout plus free shipping. That’s DMA for 15% off plus free shipping. Barefaced: less steps, better skin. Green Chef: Right now go to Greenchef.com/alonegraza and use the code alonegraza to get started with 50% off Green Chef and FREE Graza Olive Oil Set in your 2nd and 3rd boxes. This 50% offer is only available for a limited time, so don’t wait. Cove: Make protecting your home a top priority. Check out Cove at covesmart.com/DMA or use code DMA at checkout for up to 70% off your first order! And if you get a survey, please let them know you heard about Cove from this podcast.