Stop Shoulding on Yourself
Wed Dec 03 2025
In this episode, Simone explores how living by our shoulds and shouldn’ts quietly shapes the way we experience our lives - especially in midlife. She names the cultural moment we’re in: uncertainty, saturation, post-pandemic fatigue, and a nervous system that’s often hovering between fight, flight and freeze.
From there, she unpacks how gripping tightly to what feels “safe” - our money, our work, our roles, our identities - can keep us stuck, even when we’re not truly happy. And how, in those moments, the inner dialogue of “I should…” and “I shouldn’t…” gets louder and more controlling.
Simone invites you to question where your rules really come from, and whether they still feel true for who you are now.
In this episode, we explore:
• The collective freeze so many are feeling right now and why it’s not a personal failing but a nervous system response
• The difference between healthy shoulds (aligned with your values and integrity) and pressure shoulds that keep you performing and people-pleasing
• Where our shoulds come from: family expectations, school conditioning, gender roles, corporate culture, religion, social media and childhood survival strategies
• How shouldn’ts act as inner suppressors - keeping you from being “too much,” “too selfish,” “too emotional,” or “too greedy”
• The liberating side of menopause and midlife as estrogen (the “hormone of compliance”) drops and you start to care less about fitting in and more about being true to yourself
• A personal story from Simone’s last-minute trip to Bali for a tea ceremony training and what happened when she chose her inner knowing over all the “I shouldn’t…” voices
• A guided somatic practice to feel how shoulds and shouldn’ts land in your body, and to use your body as a compass for what’s really true
• A simple but powerful language upgrade to move from:
– “I should” → “I choose to” / “It matters to me to…”
– “I shouldn’t” → “What if I allowed myself to want this? / What might open up if I said yes? / I choose to say no to this.”
– “I have to” → “I’m committed to / I get to”
– “I can’t / I don’t have time” → “It’s not my priority right now.”
Simone also shares a special 3-session 1:1 offering for women who are ready to loosen the grip, let outdated rules fall away, and step into the new year making choices from alignment rather than obligation. Connect with her directly if that feels like a “yes” in your body.
Connect With Simone:
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share on Instagram!
facebook.com/simonedennycoaching
instagram.com/simonedennycoaching
simone@simonedenny.me
www.simonedenny.me
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In this episode, Simone explores how living by our shoulds and shouldn’ts quietly shapes the way we experience our lives - especially in midlife. She names the cultural moment we’re in: uncertainty, saturation, post-pandemic fatigue, and a nervous system that’s often hovering between fight, flight and freeze. From there, she unpacks how gripping tightly to what feels “safe” - our money, our work, our roles, our identities - can keep us stuck, even when we’re not truly happy. And how, in those moments, the inner dialogue of “I should…” and “I shouldn’t…” gets louder and more controlling. Simone invites you to question where your rules really come from, and whether they still feel true for who you are now. In this episode, we explore: • The collective freeze so many are feeling right now and why it’s not a personal failing but a nervous system response • The difference between healthy shoulds (aligned with your values and integrity) and pressure shoulds that keep you performing and people-pleasing • Where our shoulds come from: family expectations, school conditioning, gender roles, corporate culture, religion, social media and childhood survival strategies • How shouldn’ts act as inner suppressors - keeping you from being “too much,” “too selfish,” “too emotional,” or “too greedy” • The liberating side of menopause and midlife as estrogen (the “hormone of compliance”) drops and you start to care less about fitting in and more about being true to yourself • A personal story from Simone’s last-minute trip to Bali for a tea ceremony training and what happened when she chose her inner knowing over all the “I shouldn’t…” voices • A guided somatic practice to feel how shoulds and shouldn’ts land in your body, and to use your body as a compass for what’s really true • A simple but powerful language upgrade to move from: – “I should” → “I choose to” / “It matters to me to…” – “I shouldn’t” → “What if I allowed myself to want this? / What might open up if I said yes? / I choose to say no to this.” – “I have to” → “I’m committed to / I get to” – “I can’t / I don’t have time” → “It’s not my priority right now.” Simone also shares a special 3-session 1:1 offering for women who are ready to loosen the grip, let outdated rules fall away, and step into the new year making choices from alignment rather than obligation. Connect with her directly if that feels like a “yes” in your body. Connect With Simone: If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share on Instagram! facebook.com/simonedennycoaching instagram.com/simonedennycoaching simone@simonedenny.me www.simonedenny.me