133 | Nine Months After Iboga: Life is the Integration Plan
Fri Jan 23 2026
Released on my 35th birthday, this episode is a cozy conversation between me and one of my closest friends about iboga integration. We discuss what life has been like in the nine months since I had a shocking Iboga experience. One that allowed me to access the source of deepest shame within myself, after six years of working with psychedelic medicine. Since then, I have been given the opportunity to transform my relationship with that shame.
This is a cozy story time style episode where I reflect on everything I have been learning, integrating, releasing and opening up to, after iboga at etereo. I definitely haven't "figured it all out", and I am in still in process. This is a glimpse into it the inner work that helped me befriend my shadowiest shadow.
Show Links:
ETÉREO: Center for Truth
@etereo__baja
Doing the Work w/ Iboga
Topics covered:
What Iboga reveals about self-deception, truth, and identityThe shock and grief phase of post-Iboga integrationWhy integration often feels harder before it feels lighterSlow healing vs. making healing your whole personalityAnxiety, thought spirals, and learning not to act from themReleasing control, oversharing, and curated self-imageCultural shame, father wounds, and returning to the BalkansCreativity as integration (photography, fashion, expression)Entering a secure romantic relationship after years of singlenessAnxious attachment, earned security, and emotional regulationLiving long-distance as part of the medicine’s curriculumWhy “life is the integration plan”Stepping away from facilitation and the savior roleChoosing to enjoy life without abandoning depth or devotion
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Released on my 35th birthday, this episode is a cozy conversation between me and one of my closest friends about iboga integration. We discuss what life has been like in the nine months since I had a shocking Iboga experience. One that allowed me to access the source of deepest shame within myself, after six years of working with psychedelic medicine. Since then, I have been given the opportunity to transform my relationship with that shame. This is a cozy story time style episode where I reflect on everything I have been learning, integrating, releasing and opening up to, after iboga at etereo. I definitely haven't "figured it all out", and I am in still in process. This is a glimpse into it the inner work that helped me befriend my shadowiest shadow. Show Links: ETÉREO: Center for Truth @etereo__baja Doing the Work w/ Iboga Topics covered: What Iboga reveals about self-deception, truth, and identityThe shock and grief phase of post-Iboga integrationWhy integration often feels harder before it feels lighterSlow healing vs. making healing your whole personalityAnxiety, thought spirals, and learning not to act from themReleasing control, oversharing, and curated self-imageCultural shame, father wounds, and returning to the BalkansCreativity as integration (photography, fashion, expression)Entering a secure romantic relationship after years of singlenessAnxious attachment, earned security, and emotional regulationLiving long-distance as part of the medicine’s curriculumWhy “life is the integration plan”Stepping away from facilitation and the savior roleChoosing to enjoy life without abandoning depth or devotion