305. Belief 3: Control is Creating the Distance
Tue Feb 03 2026
This one is tender. And it's personal. So I'm going to be gentle with you.
Most of us are constantly looking around—at social media, neighbors, family members, even our own kids—to figure out if we're doing okay. If we're good parents. If we're worthy of the life and relationships we want.
Sometimes that shows up as a quiet comparison.
Your sibling's kid just won a game.
A friend posts about their teen's big achievement.
And suddenly you're wondering what that says about you… and your child.
And without realizing it, we tighten our grip.
More reminders.
More checking.
More "I'm just trying to help."
In this episode, I talk about one of the hardest beliefs for parents to face: that the control we use to try to keep our kids safe, successful, and on track may actually be creating the resistance and distance we're desperate to fix.
This isn't about blame. It's about relief.
If you're exhausted from being the homework police, the room inspector, the phone monitor—and secretly wishing you could just be their parent again—this conversation will help you see what's really happening underneath the struggle.
I share a client story that stopped me in my tracks, and a truth that changed everything for her relationship with her teen. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
If closeness feels harder the more you try… this episode is for you. If you'd like to take this even deeper, and at an accelerated rate, book a free Discover your Disconnection Pattern call.
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This one is tender. And it's personal. So I'm going to be gentle with you. Most of us are constantly looking around—at social media, neighbors, family members, even our own kids—to figure out if we're doing okay. If we're good parents. If we're worthy of the life and relationships we want. Sometimes that shows up as a quiet comparison. Your sibling's kid just won a game. A friend posts about their teen's big achievement. And suddenly you're wondering what that says about you… and your child. And without realizing it, we tighten our grip. More reminders. More checking. More "I'm just trying to help." In this episode, I talk about one of the hardest beliefs for parents to face: that the control we use to try to keep our kids safe, successful, and on track may actually be creating the resistance and distance we're desperate to fix. This isn't about blame. It's about relief. If you're exhausted from being the homework police, the room inspector, the phone monitor—and secretly wishing you could just be their parent again—this conversation will help you see what's really happening underneath the struggle. I share a client story that stopped me in my tracks, and a truth that changed everything for her relationship with her teen. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. If closeness feels harder the more you try… this episode is for you. If you'd like to take this even deeper, and at an accelerated rate, book a free Discover your Disconnection Pattern call.