When Love Turns Into Roommates: Reconnecting Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships with Dr Jessica Higgins
Wed Jan 21 2026
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Couples often wait years before getting support, then wonder why it feels so hard. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jessica Higgins to talk about the patterns that quietly take over long-term love, and how to shift them before you become flatmates with a mortgage and a “fine” relationship.
We explore what a conscious intimate relationship actually means, why therapy is not a sign you’re failing (it’s a sign you’re learning), and how sex and desire after 40 isn’t about “trying harder”, it’s about coming back into your body.
In this episode:
Why couples often seek help years after the pattern starts (and the “broken arm seven years ago” metaphor)The pursuer-withdrawer cycle and how it feeds disconnectionWhy having a skilled third person (therapy) helps your nervous system tolerate the hard stuffSex as connection, vitality, and aliveness (not another task on the list)Why emotional safety matters, but erotic energy also needs risk, honesty, and “more of you”The Wheel of Consent and getting clear on giving vs receivingLinks & Resources:
Dr Jessica Higgins: https://drjessicahiggins.comEmpowered Relationships podcast: https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/Betty Martin, Wheel of Consent: https://bettymartin.org
Dr Jessica also shares her work with couples, including an intimate Couples Adventure Retreat in Banff, Canada (September 2026).
Your host:
Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race.
FREE MINI COURSE: Unlock Your Sexual Confidence - Learn 5 Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body & Your Sexuality
https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/mini-course/
FREE WEBINAR: Women Over 40: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire So You Enjoy Heart-Melting Intimacy
This is perfect for women who are in a relationship and feel frustrated with their love life, are single and don't want to repeat past hurtful patterns where they lose themselves and their voice, and women who want to feel confident expressing their longings and desires
Join Free Online where you'll learn 5 obstacles to your desire and 5 actionable strategies to activate your desire so you stop feeling frustrated with your love life https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com
Visit our website at https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com to join the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement.
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Send us a text Couples often wait years before getting support, then wonder why it feels so hard. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jessica Higgins to talk about the patterns that quietly take over long-term love, and how to shift them before you become flatmates with a mortgage and a “fine” relationship. We explore what a conscious intimate relationship actually means, why therapy is not a sign you’re failing (it’s a sign you’re learning), and how sex and desire after 40 isn’t about “trying harder”, it’s about coming back into your body. In this episode: Why couples often seek help years after the pattern starts (and the “broken arm seven years ago” metaphor)The pursuer-withdrawer cycle and how it feeds disconnectionWhy having a skilled third person (therapy) helps your nervous system tolerate the hard stuffSex as connection, vitality, and aliveness (not another task on the list)Why emotional safety matters, but erotic energy also needs risk, honesty, and “more of you”The Wheel of Consent and getting clear on giving vs receivingLinks & Resources: Dr Jessica Higgins: https://drjessicahiggins.comEmpowered Relationships podcast: https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/Betty Martin, Wheel of Consent: https://bettymartin.org Dr Jessica also shares her work with couples, including an intimate Couples Adventure Retreat in Banff, Canada (September 2026). Your host: Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race. FREE MINI COURSE: Unlock Your Sexual Confidence - Learn 5 Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body & Your Sexuality https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/mini-course/ FREE WEBINAR: Women Over 40: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire So You Enjoy Heart-Melting Intimacy This is perfect for women who are in a relationship and feel frustrated with their love life, are single and don't want to repeat past hurtful patterns where they lose themselves and their voice, and women who want to feel confident expressing their longings and desires Join Free Online where you'll learn 5 obstacles to your desire and 5 actionable strategies to activate your desire so you stop feeling frustrated with your love life https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com Visit our website at https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com to join the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement.