Turning The Drama Triangle Into The Empowerment Dynamic
Thu Feb 05 2026
Every entrepreneur knows the cost of team drama, but few realize how much they’re unconsciously feeding it. In this conversation, Shannon Waller explains how to move from victim-based reactions to an empowerment mindset, using simple coaching questions that turn conflict into progress and leave your team more capable after every challenge.
Download Episode Transcript
Show Notes:
The classic Drama Triangle shows up anytime people fall into the roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer in their relationships and workplaces.
Entrepreneurs are especially vulnerable to the rescuer role because they see people struggling and want to jump in and fix things.
Rescuing feels helpful in the moment but quietly reinforces victimhood and keeps team members dependent on your time, energy, and problem solving.
The Empowerment Dynamic replaces victim, persecutor, and rescuer with creator, challenger, and coach so everyone gains more agency and responsibility.
Seeing yourself as a creator means owning your part in any situation and focusing on the outcome you want instead of the problem you’re facing.
Framing people or circumstances as challengers turns “persecution” into a stretch opportunity that provokes learning, growth, and better thinking.
Showing up as a coach means asking provocative questions and offering support instead of taking over and doing the work for someone else.
The core messages of the empowerment roles are “I can do it,” “You can do it,” and “How will you do it?”, which keep power and action with the individual or team.
Great entrepreneurial coaching is “bossy with love”: direct, future-focused, and challenging, but delivered with genuine care and confidence in the other person.
Language is a useful early-warning system; victim, persecutor, and rescuer thinking all show up first in how people describe what is happening.
When someone puts all the authority outside themselves, you have an opening to coach them back into ownership.
Asking “What would you be willing to do differently next time?” shifts people out of blame and into practical, self-chosen next actions.
Your real job as a leader is not to solve every problem but to help other people take effective action toward the bigger future you’re building together.
Taking responsibility does not mean being perfect; it means being able to respond, own your contribution, and commit to a better approach next time.
Most people are quick to extend grace once someone has fully owned their part in a breakdown and clearly stated what they will do differently.
Coaching yourself first—especially where you feel like a victim or persecutor—makes your leadership more authentic and significantly reduces drama in your company.
Asking for help is not weakness; it’s a courageous form of self-coaching that brings in the right “Who” before small issues become full-blown drama.
Moving from the Drama Triangle to The Empowerment Dynamic creates a culture where people expect challenges, learn quickly, and solve problems together.
An empowered team that sees itself as creative, challenged, and coachable will occasionally fail but can rapidly diagnose what happened and come back stronger.
Resources:
The Karpman Drama Triangle
The Power of TED by David Emerald
Kolbe A™ Index
Shifting From Victim To Creator with The Power of TED Author David Emerald
More
Every entrepreneur knows the cost of team drama, but few realize how much they’re unconsciously feeding it. In this conversation, Shannon Waller explains how to move from victim-based reactions to an empowerment mindset, using simple coaching questions that turn conflict into progress and leave your team more capable after every challenge. Download Episode Transcript Show Notes: The classic Drama Triangle shows up anytime people fall into the roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer in their relationships and workplaces. Entrepreneurs are especially vulnerable to the rescuer role because they see people struggling and want to jump in and fix things. Rescuing feels helpful in the moment but quietly reinforces victimhood and keeps team members dependent on your time, energy, and problem solving. The Empowerment Dynamic replaces victim, persecutor, and rescuer with creator, challenger, and coach so everyone gains more agency and responsibility. Seeing yourself as a creator means owning your part in any situation and focusing on the outcome you want instead of the problem you’re facing. Framing people or circumstances as challengers turns “persecution” into a stretch opportunity that provokes learning, growth, and better thinking. Showing up as a coach means asking provocative questions and offering support instead of taking over and doing the work for someone else. The core messages of the empowerment roles are “I can do it,” “You can do it,” and “How will you do it?”, which keep power and action with the individual or team. Great entrepreneurial coaching is “bossy with love”: direct, future-focused, and challenging, but delivered with genuine care and confidence in the other person. Language is a useful early-warning system; victim, persecutor, and rescuer thinking all show up first in how people describe what is happening. When someone puts all the authority outside themselves, you have an opening to coach them back into ownership. Asking “What would you be willing to do differently next time?” shifts people out of blame and into practical, self-chosen next actions. Your real job as a leader is not to solve every problem but to help other people take effective action toward the bigger future you’re building together. Taking responsibility does not mean being perfect; it means being able to respond, own your contribution, and commit to a better approach next time. Most people are quick to extend grace once someone has fully owned their part in a breakdown and clearly stated what they will do differently. Coaching yourself first—especially where you feel like a victim or persecutor—makes your leadership more authentic and significantly reduces drama in your company. Asking for help is not weakness; it’s a courageous form of self-coaching that brings in the right “Who” before small issues become full-blown drama. Moving from the Drama Triangle to The Empowerment Dynamic creates a culture where people expect challenges, learn quickly, and solve problems together. An empowered team that sees itself as creative, challenged, and coachable will occasionally fail but can rapidly diagnose what happened and come back stronger. Resources: The Karpman Drama Triangle The Power of TED by David Emerald Kolbe A™ Index Shifting From Victim To Creator with The Power of TED Author David Emerald