079: The #1 Relationship Killer with Vicki Kennedy
Wed Jan 07 2026
In this heart-opening episode of The Alchemist Lounge, Alex Atwood sits down with author, therapist, and relationship expert Vicki Kennedy to explore how couples can transform conflict into connection—and why "It's Never Personal" might be the mantra that saves your relationship and your sanity. Drawing from her own story of heartbreak and healing, Vicki shares the tools behind the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model, how "demon dialogues" sabotage intimacy, and what it means to drop into primary emotion, co-regulate, and become true allies with your partner.
Whether you're single, coupled, or in the trenches of relational breakdown, this conversation will reshape how you relate—to others and to yourself.
In this episode, you will hear:
(0:00) The "Oh Moment" & Emotional Hijacks: when your nervous system says "I don't matter"—and how to course-correct.
(2:35) Arguments vs. Fights: how to distinguish hurt from harm and why healthy friction is essential.
(6:05) The Hold Me Tight Workshop: why couples of every stage—from dating to divorced—can benefit.
(10:44) Demon Dialogues Decoded: what happens when your partner "never listens" and why it's rarely about the dishes.
(24:13) Vicki's Story: divorce, five therapists, and the training that finally clicked.
(27:46) Why EFT Works: the neuroscience behind connection, and how secure attachment makes you a better human.
(36:53) Shadow Work & Self-Compassion: why the parts you hide are the keys to healing.
(46:06) The Five-Step "Never Personal" Process: from pain to presence, and holding what hurts to release it.
(57:35) Ego, Forgiveness & Freedom: the summit beyond the summit—and the realization that "there's nothing to forgive."
If you're ready to evolve how you love—and how you live—this one's not to be missed. Drop your biggest insight in the comments, and let us know: what demon dialogue are you rewriting?
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In this heart-opening episode of The Alchemist Lounge, Alex Atwood sits down with author, therapist, and relationship expert Vicki Kennedy to explore how couples can transform conflict into connection—and why "It's Never Personal" might be the mantra that saves your relationship and your sanity. Drawing from her own story of heartbreak and healing, Vicki shares the tools behind the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model, how "demon dialogues" sabotage intimacy, and what it means to drop into primary emotion, co-regulate, and become true allies with your partner. Whether you're single, coupled, or in the trenches of relational breakdown, this conversation will reshape how you relate—to others and to yourself. In this episode, you will hear: (0:00) The "Oh Moment" & Emotional Hijacks: when your nervous system says "I don't matter"—and how to course-correct. (2:35) Arguments vs. Fights: how to distinguish hurt from harm and why healthy friction is essential. (6:05) The Hold Me Tight Workshop: why couples of every stage—from dating to divorced—can benefit. (10:44) Demon Dialogues Decoded: what happens when your partner "never listens" and why it's rarely about the dishes. (24:13) Vicki's Story: divorce, five therapists, and the training that finally clicked. (27:46) Why EFT Works: the neuroscience behind connection, and how secure attachment makes you a better human. (36:53) Shadow Work & Self-Compassion: why the parts you hide are the keys to healing. (46:06) The Five-Step "Never Personal" Process: from pain to presence, and holding what hurts to release it. (57:35) Ego, Forgiveness & Freedom: the summit beyond the summit—and the realization that "there's nothing to forgive." If you're ready to evolve how you love—and how you live—this one's not to be missed. Drop your biggest insight in the comments, and let us know: what demon dialogue are you rewriting?