TMIT 43: Why “Use Good Judgment” Isn’t Enough – What Kids Actually Need as Independence Grows
Mon Jan 26 2026
Independence sounds great until it isn’t.
A few weeks ago, our kids walked to a neighbor's house alone for the first time. It felt like a triumph. An hour later, Greg was pulling our 4-year-old out of a stranger’s car.
In this episode, we unpack the post-mortem of that day. We realized the breakdown wasn't about “safety”, it was about decision clarity. Our eldest didn't ask for help because she didn't know she was allowed to be rude in a crisis.
We discuss the failure of “Use Good Judgment”, the OODA Loop framework for families, and the two questions we are now teaching our kids to ask themselves when things go wrong.
In this episode, we cover:
[06:27] The Story: From the pride of letting them go to the panic of a missing child.
[10:45] The Insight: Why Hunter tried to solve the crisis alone (Safety vs. Politeness).
[13:19] The Framework: The 2 Questions every child needs to ask before making a decision.
[14:27] The Dinosaur Test: A simple way to test if your child prioritizes Safety or The Plan.
[22:17] The Police: What the officer actually said to us after we found Maverick.
Key Takeaways:
Stop telling kids to “Use Good Judgment”, it’s too vague.
Teach invariant priorities: Safety > Politeness. Always.
The 2 Questions for Independence:
1) What matters most here?
2) Is this mine to decide?
Links & Resources:
Tin Can Phone: The “landline for kids” we mention in this episode.
Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/themostimpthing
Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@themostimpthing
More
Independence sounds great until it isn’t. A few weeks ago, our kids walked to a neighbor's house alone for the first time. It felt like a triumph. An hour later, Greg was pulling our 4-year-old out of a stranger’s car. In this episode, we unpack the post-mortem of that day. We realized the breakdown wasn't about “safety”, it was about decision clarity. Our eldest didn't ask for help because she didn't know she was allowed to be rude in a crisis. We discuss the failure of “Use Good Judgment”, the OODA Loop framework for families, and the two questions we are now teaching our kids to ask themselves when things go wrong. In this episode, we cover: [06:27] The Story: From the pride of letting them go to the panic of a missing child. [10:45] The Insight: Why Hunter tried to solve the crisis alone (Safety vs. Politeness). [13:19] The Framework: The 2 Questions every child needs to ask before making a decision. [14:27] The Dinosaur Test: A simple way to test if your child prioritizes Safety or The Plan. [22:17] The Police: What the officer actually said to us after we found Maverick. Key Takeaways: Stop telling kids to “Use Good Judgment”, it’s too vague. Teach invariant priorities: Safety > Politeness. Always. The 2 Questions for Independence: 1) What matters most here? 2) Is this mine to decide? Links & Resources: Tin Can Phone: The “landline for kids” we mention in this episode. Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/themostimpthing Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@themostimpthing