The Terrible Photographer

It's 3 AM. You're scrolling through infomercials. A televangelist is selling "Miracle Spring Water" for $50—promising financial breakthroughs, healing, transformation. All you have to do is send money and believe. Fast forward to 2026. A YouTube thumbnail: "This CAMERA changed EVERYTHING 📷🔥" Description: "Amazon affiliate links below." Same hustle. Different spring water. In this bonus heresy, we examine why gear influencers are the modern-day televangelists of photography—how they've built an entire industry around keeping you perpetually inadequate, how they've changed what we value when we look at photographs, and why most of them can't actually shoot. This isn't about hating content creators. It's about understanding the incentive structures that teach us to worship what we lack instead of what we hold. And it's about recognizing our own complicity in building this machine. Warning: This episode names names and makes uncomfortable arguments. If you've ever upgraded your camera when you didn't need to, this one's going to hit close to home. IN THIS EPISODE The Peter Popoff ParallelHow a disgraced televangelist who sold "Miracle Spring Water" to desperate people is using the exact same business model as gear influencers—just with better production value and no FBI investigation (yet). The Gospel of the Spec SheetWhy the prosperity gospel and gear culture are built on identical psychological architecture: the promise that transformation is a transaction you can complete with your credit card. The Liturgy of InadequacyHow the inadequacy spiral works: You buy a camera. You're excited. Two weeks later, the algorithm shows you why it's not good enough. And the cycle begins. "Almost" Is the Most Profitable EmotionWhy we stay in perpetual "almost"—almost ready, almost equipped, almost prepared. Because "almost" feels productive while keeping us from the actual work of making images. The ConfessionPatrick turns the mirror on himself—and on all of us. How we participated in building this system because buying something feels like progress, even when it's not. The Influencer-as-Career ProblemWhy an entire generation of photographers is learning that building a YouTube channel is more profitable than building a portfolio—and what gets lost when content about photography replaces the practice of photography. The Mirror MomentPatrick examines his own position: Does he have a podcast? A book? A newsletter? Isn't he doing the same thing? And why his one exception to the "no sponsorship" rule is Guinness beer. Redefining "Good"How gear culture changed what we see when we look at photographs—from "Does this make you feel something?" to "Can you see every eyelash at 100% crop?" The TikTok CritiqueA live Instagram feed critique where technical feedback (sharpness, color consistency, dynamic range) completely replaces any conversation about vision, intent, or what the photographer is actually trying to say. The Scott Kelby / Jeremy Cowart StoryA moment from a photo walk where Scott Kelby interrupts Jeremy Cowart mid-shoot to ask about his settings—perfectly illustrating how we've been conditioned to believe the technical information is what matters, not the seeing. What Actually Gets LostNot just taste or vision, but the willingness to sit with uncertainty. How photographers stop trusting their own eyes and start Googling "best composition for portraits" mid-shoot. The Portfolio Problem (The nuclear option)Why most gear influencers can't actually shoot—and how we've given authority to people who can measure corner sharpness but can't make a compelling photograph. Includes the uncomfortable truth about test shots masquerading as sample images. What Doesn't Matter (And What Does)Corner sharpness. Dynamic range. Color science. Megapixels. None of it matters if you can't see. And how the camera you have right now is enough—not "enough to start," but enough to make extraordinary work. The EndingNot permission, but presence. What Patrick stopped clicking. What he's sitting with. What he's letting stay unresolved. And why his three-year-old scratched camera isn't getting upgraded. KEY QUOTES "Almost is the most profitable emotion in the world. Because almost lets us feel like photographers without the risk of making photography." "Your satisfaction is their bankruptcy." "The camera didn't change. Your faith did. You were taught to worship what you lack instead of what you hold." "Transformation is not a transaction. It's something you build." "We've given authority to people who know how to measure corner sharpness but can't make an interesting photograph." "Certainty is the enemy of vision. Because vision lives in the uncertainty." "The thing I'm looking for isn't in the next camera. It's in the next thousand frames. And you can't buy those. You have to make them." REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE Peter PopoffTelevangelist exposed by James Randi in the 1980s for using hidden earpieces to fake divine revelations. Declared bankruptcy in 1987. Came back in the 2000s selling "Miracle Spring Water" via late-night infomercials. Ministry pulled in $23 million by 2015. Inside Edition Investigation (2015)Confrontation with Popoff showing his $2.1M home, $100K Porsche, and $600K+ salary funded by donations from desperate people. James Randi ExposureMagician and skeptic who revealed Popoff's wife was feeding him information through a hidden earpiece during "healing" crusades. Peter McKinnonYouTube creator, Canon ambassador, camera backpack designer. Used as example of distinction between content creator and working photographer (with explicit acknowledgment of his talent and intentional career choice). Scott Kelby / Jeremy Cowart Photo WalkVenice Beach incident where Kelby interrupted Cowart mid-shoot to ask about camera settings—illustrating the assumption that technical information is what matters. Ofcom (UK Broadcasting Regulator)Fined broadcasters in 2018 for airing Popoff's infomercials with health claims that crossed from religious expression into fraud. MENTIONED PHOTOGRAPHERS & ARTISTS (For the "what to study instead" section) Alec SothSally MannSaul LeiterRobert FrankNadav KanderGregory CrewdsonAnsel Adams ("Moonrise, Hernandez, New Mexico")AUDIO CLIPS USED Peter Popoff "Miracle Spring Water" Infomercial (2018)Clips of testimonials, pitch, and call-to-action from late-night infomercial Inside Edition Confrontation (2015)Matt Meagher attempting to question Popoff about taking money from desperate people EPISODE THEMES Inadequacy as a business modelProsperity gospel vs. gear cultureThe economics of content creationTechnical language replacing aesthetic languageLearning to see vs. learning to shopVision vs. specs