This Valentine's Day (and Every Day) Take Responsibility For Filling Yourself Up
Mon Feb 02 2026
Stop outsourcing your wellbeing, happiness, and even value as a person. Stop putting your life in someone else's hands.
Midlife women often do this around holidays or "special days" like Valentine's Day, their birthday, or Mother's Day.
Instead of waiting for other people to fill you up or make you feel loved, YOU need to get clear on what you want and need and take responsibility for filling yourself up.
You have PERMISSION to claim your wants and needs and figure out how to give yourself the experience you desire, or how to help yourself feel how you want to feel in your body and life.
If you want to invite someone else to be a part of your plans (and you may not), I recommend that first, you get honest about your expectations on that person.
We often have unspoken or undefined expectations and then feel hurt, disappointed, or resentful when people don't show up according to our imaginary ideals. This hurts us and it hurts the relationship.
You need to own your expectations and desires. If you don't get clear on this for yourself, how could someone else ever live up to this expectation? And even when you do identify your expectations on others, I recommend that you examine them in this season of your life.
Where do they come from? Are you comparing your very real, messy and beautiful life, to an imaginary ideal you picked up in a past season of life? Do you want to carry your old expectations or imaginary ideals forward? If not, let them go for your own freedom and joy. And if they do still matter to you, are you willing to communicate them to your partner, friend, or adult child?
Unless you are willing to clearly communicate your wants and needs to other people, you're setting everyone up for disconnection. Unless you are willing to be vulnerable and have the conversation, you need to release them from the expectation.
Imagine filling yourself up. Imagine no longer waiting for someone else to help you feel loved or wanted. Imagine making your own plans and then joyfully inviting others to join you in your plan, if desired, but knowing that your happiness and wellbeing is not determined by another person.
Being honest about the days and events that feel meaningful to us and giving ourselves permission to meet our needs and fill ourselves up is beautiful and freeing.
In this episode I also talk about other ways to give ourselves permission as midlife women. When we give ourselves permission, we model this to others as well. We offer up a new, joyful possibility to others.
The Joy Workshop - enjoy this FREE for the month of February: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/joy-workshop/
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Stop outsourcing your wellbeing, happiness, and even value as a person. Stop putting your life in someone else's hands. Midlife women often do this around holidays or "special days" like Valentine's Day, their birthday, or Mother's Day. Instead of waiting for other people to fill you up or make you feel loved, YOU need to get clear on what you want and need and take responsibility for filling yourself up. You have PERMISSION to claim your wants and needs and figure out how to give yourself the experience you desire, or how to help yourself feel how you want to feel in your body and life. If you want to invite someone else to be a part of your plans (and you may not), I recommend that first, you get honest about your expectations on that person. We often have unspoken or undefined expectations and then feel hurt, disappointed, or resentful when people don't show up according to our imaginary ideals. This hurts us and it hurts the relationship. You need to own your expectations and desires. If you don't get clear on this for yourself, how could someone else ever live up to this expectation? And even when you do identify your expectations on others, I recommend that you examine them in this season of your life. Where do they come from? Are you comparing your very real, messy and beautiful life, to an imaginary ideal you picked up in a past season of life? Do you want to carry your old expectations or imaginary ideals forward? If not, let them go for your own freedom and joy. And if they do still matter to you, are you willing to communicate them to your partner, friend, or adult child? Unless you are willing to clearly communicate your wants and needs to other people, you're setting everyone up for disconnection. Unless you are willing to be vulnerable and have the conversation, you need to release them from the expectation. Imagine filling yourself up. Imagine no longer waiting for someone else to help you feel loved or wanted. Imagine making your own plans and then joyfully inviting others to join you in your plan, if desired, but knowing that your happiness and wellbeing is not determined by another person. Being honest about the days and events that feel meaningful to us and giving ourselves permission to meet our needs and fill ourselves up is beautiful and freeing. In this episode I also talk about other ways to give ourselves permission as midlife women. When we give ourselves permission, we model this to others as well. We offer up a new, joyful possibility to others. The Joy Workshop - enjoy this FREE for the month of February: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/joy-workshop/