Why It's So Hard to Explain Deconstruction
Mon Jan 26 2026
Episode 163
In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves.
I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those observing deconstruction from the outside and those living through it.
What I explore in this episode:
Why deconstruction can't be fully understood from an intellectual or conceptual level aloneHow trauma plays a central role in the deconstruction processWhy it's impossible to "hold onto the good" while deconstructing—and why that's okayThe difference between critiquing the church and actually deconstructing your faithWhy deconstruction feels like drowning, like having your entire container of faith fall apartHow my own journey with family trauma mirrors my faith deconstructionDeconstruction is disorganised, chaotic, and impossible to neatly explain even to ourselves. If you're going through this process, I hope you feel seen. If you're trying to understand someone who is, I hope this gives you compassion for how difficult it is to put into words.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
6:22 Unpacking a Follower's Question
11:21 Reading the Question
16:25 Deconstructing the Container, Not Just the Content
18:18 Seeing the Harm in Church Structures
37:22 You Can't Hold On While Letting Go
45:13 My Family of Origin Story
55:39 God Wants Freedom for Us
57:47 External Critique vs. Interior Journey
1:02:00 Closing Thoughts
Support the show
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
One-time Donation
Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
More
Episode 163 In this episode, I dive into one of the most challenging aspects of deconstruction: trying to explain it to others who haven't experienced it themselves. I respond to a thoughtful question from a follower about how to remain committed to the church while being honest about its limitations during deconstruction. But as I share, this question itself reveals the gap between those observing deconstruction from the outside and those living through it. What I explore in this episode: Why deconstruction can't be fully understood from an intellectual or conceptual level aloneHow trauma plays a central role in the deconstruction processWhy it's impossible to "hold onto the good" while deconstructing—and why that's okayThe difference between critiquing the church and actually deconstructing your faithWhy deconstruction feels like drowning, like having your entire container of faith fall apartHow my own journey with family trauma mirrors my faith deconstructionDeconstruction is disorganised, chaotic, and impossible to neatly explain even to ourselves. If you're going through this process, I hope you feel seen. If you're trying to understand someone who is, I hope this gives you compassion for how difficult it is to put into words. Watch this recording on YouTube. CHAPTER MARKERS 0:00 Introduction 6:22 Unpacking a Follower's Question 11:21 Reading the Question 16:25 Deconstructing the Container, Not Just the Content 18:18 Seeing the Harm in Church Structures 37:22 You Can't Hold On While Letting Go 45:13 My Family of Origin Story 55:39 God Wants Freedom for Us 57:47 External Critique vs. Interior Journey 1:02:00 Closing Thoughts Support the show SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT Social Media: Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook. Newsletter: Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections. Support the Show: Monthly Support (starting at USD$3) One-time Donation Leave a Review: If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.