The Empty Stocking Isn’t About the Stocking
Tue Dec 30 2025
Every year after Christmas, the same conversation resurfaces: moms waking up to empty stockings and the internet rushing in with advice to leave, rage, or declare the relationship doomed.
But what if the stocking isn’t the real issue?
In this episode, we slow the moment down and talk honestly about why this seemingly small disappointment hits so hard for so many moms and what it actually reveals about mental load, visibility, inherited patterns, and modern partnership.
We read real posts from moms, talk through the full spectrum of reactions (from “it was an honest miss” to “this has been happening for years”), and explore why the empty stocking often becomes a quiet test of recognition, effort, and shared responsibility.
This isn’t a hate-on-men episode.And it’s not a “just get over it” one either.
It’s a grounded conversation about:
Why this moment feels bigger than gifts
How inherited family patterns show up at holidays
When disappointment is information—not a verdict
Why “just tell him what you want” often doesn’t work
How couples can respond without blowing things up or sweeping it under the rug
We also share what actually helped us have one of our most connected Christmases yet and what we see help couples repair moments like this instead of letting resentment calcify.
If this episode stirred something up and you want help having the conversation underneath the disappointment, we created a free guide called The Stocking Was the Symptom—a calm, honest conversation guide for couples who don’t want this moment to define their marriage.👉 postpartumtogether.com/stocking-problem-convo-guide
In this episode you'll also hear:
A men’s group Mike is hosting on January 12th focused on emotional regulation, visibility, and showing up as a teammate at home
👉 Link to men’s group registration
Threads referenced:
@eliseoras
@crfreund
@sidneyraz
@sheisapaigeturner
@omgskr
This conversation is for parents who feel disappointed but not done—who believe growth is possible and want a better way forward.
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Every year after Christmas, the same conversation resurfaces: moms waking up to empty stockings and the internet rushing in with advice to leave, rage, or declare the relationship doomed. But what if the stocking isn’t the real issue? In this episode, we slow the moment down and talk honestly about why this seemingly small disappointment hits so hard for so many moms and what it actually reveals about mental load, visibility, inherited patterns, and modern partnership. We read real posts from moms, talk through the full spectrum of reactions (from “it was an honest miss” to “this has been happening for years”), and explore why the empty stocking often becomes a quiet test of recognition, effort, and shared responsibility. This isn’t a hate-on-men episode.And it’s not a “just get over it” one either. It’s a grounded conversation about: Why this moment feels bigger than gifts How inherited family patterns show up at holidays When disappointment is information—not a verdict Why “just tell him what you want” often doesn’t work How couples can respond without blowing things up or sweeping it under the rug We also share what actually helped us have one of our most connected Christmases yet and what we see help couples repair moments like this instead of letting resentment calcify. If this episode stirred something up and you want help having the conversation underneath the disappointment, we created a free guide called The Stocking Was the Symptom—a calm, honest conversation guide for couples who don’t want this moment to define their marriage.👉 postpartumtogether.com/stocking-problem-convo-guide In this episode you'll also hear: A men’s group Mike is hosting on January 12th focused on emotional regulation, visibility, and showing up as a teammate at home 👉 Link to men’s group registration Threads referenced: @eliseoras @crfreund @sidneyraz @sheisapaigeturner @omgskr This conversation is for parents who feel disappointed but not done—who believe growth is possible and want a better way forward.