Why Grief Is Like A Chameleon and How to Live With It — Dr. Lisa Benton-Hardy
Fri Jan 30 2026
Grief doesn’t follow a script, and it certainly doesn’t end on a schedule. Psychiatrist Dr. Lisa Benton-Hardy joins us to unpack loss—why you may be met with a flood of feeling years later, how relief and laughter can coexist with tears, and what it really takes to support someone beyond the first year when the casseroles stop coming and month 13 begins.
We dig into the crucial difference between grieving as a process and grief as the lasting state we learn to carry. Lisa shares how deeper the attachment, the greater the loss. And what about deaths like suicide and homicide? Whether a stigmatized death or the loss of a loving spouse, Lisa guides us to reach out and ask someone grieving simply where they are. Practical short check-ins, honest questions, and letting the bereaved lead the pace.
We also explore how kids understand death at different ages, why direct language matters, and the surprising ways children often sense loss before adults say it aloud. Pet loss gets real attention too: the 2 a.m. comfort of a dog can be a lifeline, which is why losing that bond can intensify anxiety, OCD, and depression. Lisa offers a compassionate micro-step strategy from a bereaved mother—on the hardest days, the job is simple and brave: just get up. The path forward isn’t closure; it’s continued connection, honest language, and care that adapts long past the first year.
If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need it, then subscribe, rate, and leave a review on Apple or Spotify to help more people find the show. Your support keeps these stories going.
Support the show
Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum
Edited by Brandon Moran
Sponsored by Soar With Tapping
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Grief doesn’t follow a script, and it certainly doesn’t end on a schedule. Psychiatrist Dr. Lisa Benton-Hardy joins us to unpack loss—why you may be met with a flood of feeling years later, how relief and laughter can coexist with tears, and what it really takes to support someone beyond the first year when the casseroles stop coming and month 13 begins. We dig into the crucial difference between grieving as a process and grief as the lasting state we learn to carry. Lisa shares how deeper the attachment, the greater the loss. And what about deaths like suicide and homicide? Whether a stigmatized death or the loss of a loving spouse, Lisa guides us to reach out and ask someone grieving simply where they are. Practical short check-ins, honest questions, and letting the bereaved lead the pace. We also explore how kids understand death at different ages, why direct language matters, and the surprising ways children often sense loss before adults say it aloud. Pet loss gets real attention too: the 2 a.m. comfort of a dog can be a lifeline, which is why losing that bond can intensify anxiety, OCD, and depression. Lisa offers a compassionate micro-step strategy from a bereaved mother—on the hardest days, the job is simple and brave: just get up. The path forward isn’t closure; it’s continued connection, honest language, and care that adapts long past the first year. If this conversation resonates, share it with someone who might need it, then subscribe, rate, and leave a review on Apple or Spotify to help more people find the show. Your support keeps these stories going. Support the show Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum Edited by Brandon Moran Sponsored by Soar With Tapping