Why Trying to Stop Overthinking Makes You Overthink More (And What Actually Works)
Wed Feb 04 2026
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How much time did you spend this week analyzing why you do the things you do?
Reading about attachment styles, scrolling Instagram therapists, listening to podcasts about nervous system regulation, journaling about why you can't stop overthinking?
Now—how much time did you spend actually not overthinking?
Yeah.
Here's the thing nobody tells you:
All that analysis? All that learning? All that trying to stop?
That's not the new pathway. That's the old one.
You're standing on the old road—the one with all the potholes—staring at the potholes, trying to understand the potholes, researching how potholes form.
And you think you're building a new road.
But you're not. You're just making the old road more familiar.
I recorded a whole episode about this because I keep seeing the smartest, most self-aware people (my people—energy managers like you) trying themselves into the GROUND.
Trying to stop overthinking.
Trying to set boundaries.
Trying to not be so hard on themselves.
The trying IS the problem.
In this week's episode, I explain:
Why 80% of your time is spent hardwiring what you don't want (and you don't even realize it) The spray bottle metaphor that'll make you go "oh shit" What it actually looks like to get on the new pathway (real client story that'll probably make you cry a little) How to flip the ratio so you're spending 80% of your time being calm AF instead of trying to be Calm AF Life: Regulated is coming soon. This is where you will shift the identity from knowing how to regulated to REGULATED.
In the meantime, get the Daily Reminders private podcast that you can listen to on repeat that will recalibrate your nervous system (not just add to your tool collection).
Get support Calibration call: This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here.
Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here.
Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters
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Get the Daily Reminders private podcast How much time did you spend this week analyzing why you do the things you do? Reading about attachment styles, scrolling Instagram therapists, listening to podcasts about nervous system regulation, journaling about why you can't stop overthinking? Now—how much time did you spend actually not overthinking? Yeah. Here's the thing nobody tells you: All that analysis? All that learning? All that trying to stop? That's not the new pathway. That's the old one. You're standing on the old road—the one with all the potholes—staring at the potholes, trying to understand the potholes, researching how potholes form. And you think you're building a new road. But you're not. You're just making the old road more familiar. I recorded a whole episode about this because I keep seeing the smartest, most self-aware people (my people—energy managers like you) trying themselves into the GROUND. Trying to stop overthinking. Trying to set boundaries. Trying to not be so hard on themselves. The trying IS the problem. In this week's episode, I explain: Why 80% of your time is spent hardwiring what you don't want (and you don't even realize it) The spray bottle metaphor that'll make you go "oh shit" What it actually looks like to get on the new pathway (real client story that'll probably make you cry a little) How to flip the ratio so you're spending 80% of your time being calm AF instead of trying to be Calm AF Life: Regulated is coming soon. This is where you will shift the identity from knowing how to regulated to REGULATED. In the meantime, get the Daily Reminders private podcast that you can listen to on repeat that will recalibrate your nervous system (not just add to your tool collection). Get support Calibration call: This isn't ongoing coaching. It's a single, focused recalibration session designed to get you clear when you find yourself stuck. Learn more here. Private coaching: I work privately with a small number of clients who are tired of losing time and energy to overthinking, second-guessing, and energy managing. This is a high-level engagement for people who are operating at a high level and want to stop feeling like it's fragile. Find details and complete application here. Love letters: You need daily reminders if you want to shift your identity. I've got you. All you have to do is open the email and read. Sign up for Daily Love Letters