Melissa Schulz — Small Steps, Real Change: Rethinking Behavior for Complex Kids
Mon Feb 02 2026
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In this powerful episode of Complex Kids, Simple Solutions, Michelle sits down with parenting coach and BCBA Melissa Schulz to unpack what actually helps when parenting strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent kids.
With 20 years of professional experience—and lived experience as a mom of neurodiverse kids—Melissa shares why so many behavior plans fail families, how guilt keeps parents stuck, and what it looks like to meet kids (and parents) where they truly are.
This conversation is honest, grounding, and deeply validating for parents who are exhausted from “doing everything right” and still struggling.
Melissa shares:
Why Behavior Isn’t the Problem: How focusing only on stopping behaviors misses the real needs kids are trying to communicate.The Limits of Traditional ABA: Why handouts, “just ignore it,” and perfect plans fall apart in real family life.The Power of Baby Steps: How unrealistic expectations set kids—and parents—up to fail, and why slow progress is real progress.Regulating the Parent First: Why nervous system work for parents is the missing piece in behavior change.Dropping the “Should”: How letting go of comparison and timelines can restore joy and connection.Skills Over Control: Why kids do well when they can, not when they’re forced to comply.Quote to Tape on the Fridge:
“It’s not your child’s job to learn the way you teach. It’s your job to teach the way they learn.”
👤 About Melissa Schulz
Melissa Schulz is a parenting coach, board-certified behavior analyst, and counselor who supports families raising complex kids. After building and running a large ABA company, Melissa shifted her work to focus on parents—bridging the gap between clinical knowledge and real-life parenting. Her work centers on compassion, regulation, and practical strategies that actually fit into daily life.
🔗 Connect with Melissa Schulz
Facebook: www.facebook.com/confidentlymommin
Instagram: www.instagram.com/confidentlymommin
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Send us a text In this powerful episode of Complex Kids, Simple Solutions, Michelle sits down with parenting coach and BCBA Melissa Schulz to unpack what actually helps when parenting strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodivergent kids. With 20 years of professional experience—and lived experience as a mom of neurodiverse kids—Melissa shares why so many behavior plans fail families, how guilt keeps parents stuck, and what it looks like to meet kids (and parents) where they truly are. This conversation is honest, grounding, and deeply validating for parents who are exhausted from “doing everything right” and still struggling. Melissa shares: Why Behavior Isn’t the Problem: How focusing only on stopping behaviors misses the real needs kids are trying to communicate.The Limits of Traditional ABA: Why handouts, “just ignore it,” and perfect plans fall apart in real family life.The Power of Baby Steps: How unrealistic expectations set kids—and parents—up to fail, and why slow progress is real progress.Regulating the Parent First: Why nervous system work for parents is the missing piece in behavior change.Dropping the “Should”: How letting go of comparison and timelines can restore joy and connection.Skills Over Control: Why kids do well when they can, not when they’re forced to comply.Quote to Tape on the Fridge: “It’s not your child’s job to learn the way you teach. It’s your job to teach the way they learn.” 👤 About Melissa Schulz Melissa Schulz is a parenting coach, board-certified behavior analyst, and counselor who supports families raising complex kids. After building and running a large ABA company, Melissa shifted her work to focus on parents—bridging the gap between clinical knowledge and real-life parenting. Her work centers on compassion, regulation, and practical strategies that actually fit into daily life. 🔗 Connect with Melissa Schulz Facebook: www.facebook.com/confidentlymommin Instagram: www.instagram.com/confidentlymommin