Opposite Action: A DBT Tool For Big Emotions
Wed Feb 04 2026
Strong emotions can powerfully shape how parents and teens react—but following every emotional urge doesn’t always lead to the outcomes we want. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, we discuss a practical, evidence-based way to respond differently when emotions are steering us toward behaviors that actually make things worse.
Clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore the Opposite Action skill, a core concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). They explain how emotions naturally come with action urges—like withdrawing when we feel sad, lashing out when we’re angry, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety—and why those urges are not always helpful or aligned with our goals.
Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through how Opposite Action works, when it’s appropriate to use, and how it can be applied both in parenting moments and in teens’ everyday lives. They discuss how choosing an action that goes against an emotional urge—when that urge isn’t serving us—can reduce emotional intensity over time and support healthier coping, connection, and decision-making.
Together, they explore:
How emotions drive automatic behaviorsWhy “doing what you feel like doing” can sometimes backfireWhat Opposite Action is and when to use itReal-life examples for parents, teens, and familiesHow modeling Opposite Action helps teens build emotional skillsHere are some highlights from the episode:
00:00 The Urge That Follows Emotion
00:50 There Are No Quick Fixes
01:21 Simple Tools to Hold Onto in Tough Moments
01:40 What Is the Opposite Action Tool?
03:44 When to Use Opposite Action
04:45 How the Opposite Action Tool Works
06:29 Different Ways to Practice Opposite Action
11:24 Building Awareness in the Moment
14:15 Remembering You Have This Option
15:39 How Opposite Action Builds a Sense of Empowerment
15:54 How Parents Can Share This Tool With Their Kids
16:28 Joining Your Child When They’re Struggling
19:08 Change Happens Over Time
20:15 We Use Opposite Action More Than We Realize
23:04 Our Emotions Don’t Always Have to Be in Charge
If you’re trying to help your teen manage big emotions—or working on your own emotional responses as a parent—this episode offers clear, practical guidance for choosing actions that support growth, regulation, and long-term well-being.
Watch this episode here here on YouTube
🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for science-based parenting guidance on teens, tweens, emotional regulation, and parent-teen communication—hosted by two clinical psychologists and parents.
✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/
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Strong emotions can powerfully shape how parents and teens react—but following every emotional urge doesn’t always lead to the outcomes we want. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, we discuss a practical, evidence-based way to respond differently when emotions are steering us toward behaviors that actually make things worse. Clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore the Opposite Action skill, a core concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). They explain how emotions naturally come with action urges—like withdrawing when we feel sad, lashing out when we’re angry, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety—and why those urges are not always helpful or aligned with our goals. Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through how Opposite Action works, when it’s appropriate to use, and how it can be applied both in parenting moments and in teens’ everyday lives. They discuss how choosing an action that goes against an emotional urge—when that urge isn’t serving us—can reduce emotional intensity over time and support healthier coping, connection, and decision-making. Together, they explore: How emotions drive automatic behaviorsWhy “doing what you feel like doing” can sometimes backfireWhat Opposite Action is and when to use itReal-life examples for parents, teens, and familiesHow modeling Opposite Action helps teens build emotional skillsHere are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 The Urge That Follows Emotion 00:50 There Are No Quick Fixes 01:21 Simple Tools to Hold Onto in Tough Moments 01:40 What Is the Opposite Action Tool? 03:44 When to Use Opposite Action 04:45 How the Opposite Action Tool Works 06:29 Different Ways to Practice Opposite Action 11:24 Building Awareness in the Moment 14:15 Remembering You Have This Option 15:39 How Opposite Action Builds a Sense of Empowerment 15:54 How Parents Can Share This Tool With Their Kids 16:28 Joining Your Child When They’re Struggling 19:08 Change Happens Over Time 20:15 We Use Opposite Action More Than We Realize 23:04 Our Emotions Don’t Always Have to Be in Charge If you’re trying to help your teen manage big emotions—or working on your own emotional responses as a parent—this episode offers clear, practical guidance for choosing actions that support growth, regulation, and long-term well-being. Watch this episode here here on YouTube 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for science-based parenting guidance on teens, tweens, emotional regulation, and parent-teen communication—hosted by two clinical psychologists and parents. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/