Projection with psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clark
Thu Feb 05 2026
In the spring of 2020, I got a letter. It was, quite possibly, the worse letter I’ve ever got and I’ve had a few. It was full of bile and unhappiness, unfair and harsh. I recognised immediately that the letter writer was talking about herself and projecting onto me but that didn’t stop it hurting because I realised in that moment that the letter writer would never accept responsibility for her own behaviour and always make it someone else’s fault: primarily mine. So I decided to move out of her way so that, hopefully, her beam of dissatisfaction with life could be aimed elsewhere.
Projection is a defence mechanism. It’s used when people cannot bear certain aspects of themselves and project them onto others. We all do it to a degree (none of us is perfect!) but some people do it habitually and without ever looking at their own place in things. It’s the subject of this podcast where I talk to psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke about what exactly it is, how to recognise it and how to deflect it so that each person deals with their own behaviour. If you’ve ever left a meeting with someone feeling utterly drained and crap about yourself the chances are that person is projecting something not-positive onto you. You’re going to love this podcast, and I hope you find it fabulously useful in every day life.
If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.
You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.
Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More
In the spring of 2020, I got a letter. It was, quite possibly, the worse letter I’ve ever got and I’ve had a few. It was full of bile and unhappiness, unfair and harsh. I recognised immediately that the letter writer was talking about herself and projecting onto me but that didn’t stop it hurting because I realised in that moment that the letter writer would never accept responsibility for her own behaviour and always make it someone else’s fault: primarily mine. So I decided to move out of her way so that, hopefully, her beam of dissatisfaction with life could be aimed elsewhere. Projection is a defence mechanism. It’s used when people cannot bear certain aspects of themselves and project them onto others. We all do it to a degree (none of us is perfect!) but some people do it habitually and without ever looking at their own place in things. It’s the subject of this podcast where I talk to psychotherapist Ryan Bennett-Clarke about what exactly it is, how to recognise it and how to deflect it so that each person deals with their own behaviour. If you’ve ever left a meeting with someone feeling utterly drained and crap about yourself the chances are that person is projecting something not-positive onto you. You’re going to love this podcast, and I hope you find it fabulously useful in every day life. If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much. Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.