304 Life Control: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently
Fri Feb 06 2026
In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David begins a new eight-part solo series exploring how mental toughness shapes the coach–athlete relationship in sport.
Today's focus is Life Control — a part of mental toughness that influences whether people feel able to shape what happens to them, or whether life simply "happens" to them.
David explores one of the most common and frustrating mismatches in sport: the high life-control coach and the low life-control athlete. High-life control coaches are driven, organised and solution-focused. They believe effort changes outcomes. Low life -control athletes, often younger or more emotionally sensitive, experience sport as something that happens to them. Their confidence fluctuates, motivation comes and goes, and excuses become a way of protecting self-esteem.
What looks like laziness or lack of commitment from the outside is often helplessness on the inside. This episode shows how this clash creates tension and how, when handled well, it can become one of the most powerful developmental partnerships in sport. David also draws on research from Sophia Jowett on the coach–athlete relationship, highlighting how closeness, commitment, complementarity and shared understanding allow athletes to grow in confidence and responsibility.
>> Key Takeaways
High and low life control are not "good" or "bad" they are different ways of responding to pressure Low life-control athletes are often emotionally sensitive, creative and adaptable. Coaches who provide structure, chunking and emotional safety help these athletes thrive. If you enjoyed this episode, check out our previous podcasts on all things mental toughness:
Ep302: Doug Strycharczyk - Why You React the Way You Do Under Pressure
Ep293: Stuart Barnes - High Challenge, High Support: Mental Toughness in Cricket
Ep249: Edward Hall - Workplace Collaboration in Team Sports Coaching Environments
Ep201: Dr John Perry and Doug Strycharczyk – Even The Mentally Tough Can Find Things A Struggle Without Self Awareness
Connect with David Charlton
· Sign Up To The Mental Edge
· Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub
· LinkedIn
More
In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David begins a new eight-part solo series exploring how mental toughness shapes the coach–athlete relationship in sport. Today's focus is Life Control — a part of mental toughness that influences whether people feel able to shape what happens to them, or whether life simply "happens" to them. David explores one of the most common and frustrating mismatches in sport: the high life-control coach and the low life-control athlete. High-life control coaches are driven, organised and solution-focused. They believe effort changes outcomes. Low life -control athletes, often younger or more emotionally sensitive, experience sport as something that happens to them. Their confidence fluctuates, motivation comes and goes, and excuses become a way of protecting self-esteem. What looks like laziness or lack of commitment from the outside is often helplessness on the inside. This episode shows how this clash creates tension and how, when handled well, it can become one of the most powerful developmental partnerships in sport. David also draws on research from Sophia Jowett on the coach–athlete relationship, highlighting how closeness, commitment, complementarity and shared understanding allow athletes to grow in confidence and responsibility. >> Key Takeaways High and low life control are not "good" or "bad" they are different ways of responding to pressure Low life-control athletes are often emotionally sensitive, creative and adaptable. Coaches who provide structure, chunking and emotional safety help these athletes thrive. If you enjoyed this episode, check out our previous podcasts on all things mental toughness: Ep302: Doug Strycharczyk - Why You React the Way You Do Under Pressure Ep293: Stuart Barnes - High Challenge, High Support: Mental Toughness in Cricket Ep249: Edward Hall - Workplace Collaboration in Team Sports Coaching Environments Ep201: Dr John Perry and Doug Strycharczyk – Even The Mentally Tough Can Find Things A Struggle Without Self Awareness Connect with David Charlton · Sign Up To The Mental Edge · Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub · LinkedIn