Ep 55: 6 Ways You’re Still Chasing Love (Without Realising It)
Fri Feb 06 2026
If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for you.
.
You might not be double-texting.
You might not be chasing in obvious ways.
You might even look secure on the outside.
.
And yet… you’re still not being chosen.
.
In this episode, I’m breaking down the subtle, unconscious ways people with anxious attachment are still chasing love without realising it - and why simply “acting secure” doesn’t change your relationship outcomes.
.
I share my own personal stories, client patterns, and the six chasing archetypes I see over and over again in people who want love, stability, and commitment - but keep recreating the same painful dynamics.
.
We cover:
• The difference between secure behaviour and anxious survival strategies
• How anxious attachment shows up as fixing, proving, pleasing, performing, waiting, or hyper-independence
• Why you can stop chasing on the surface and still sabotage love underneath
• How self-concept and subconscious beliefs determine who chooses you
• Why being “low maintenance”, overly understanding, or hyper-independent is still chasing
• How these patterns keep recreating partners who don’t fully choose you
.
If you’ve ever thought: “Why am I still not chosen even though I’m doing everything right?”
.
This episode will help you see exactly what’s happening - clearly, honestly, and without blame.
.
Find out your dominant chasing archetype
Most people don’t just have one - but there is usually one that runs the show underneath.
.
👉 Take the free Chasing to Chosen Quiz here
.
When you know how you’re chasing, it becomes much easier to stop sabotaging love without realising it.
.
Ready to shift from chasing to being chosen?
If you recognise yourself in this episode, the work to change these patterns is inside my Chasing to Chosen Masterclass.
.
👉 Watch the Chasing to Chosen Masterclass here
And if you’re trying to manifest love, shift a current relationship, or attract someone new - make sure you listen to next week’s episode. Hit FOLLOW so you don't miss it!
.
If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program Anxious to Secure in Love where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full.
.
Free Masterclass: Stop Sabotaging Love
Signature Program: Anxious to Secure in Love
.
Connect with me on Instagram @candicetamara_
Ways to work with me: Click here
.
Enjoying the podcast?
Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!
More
If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for you. . You might not be double-texting. You might not be chasing in obvious ways. You might even look secure on the outside. . And yet… you’re still not being chosen. . In this episode, I’m breaking down the subtle, unconscious ways people with anxious attachment are still chasing love without realising it - and why simply “acting secure” doesn’t change your relationship outcomes. . I share my own personal stories, client patterns, and the six chasing archetypes I see over and over again in people who want love, stability, and commitment - but keep recreating the same painful dynamics. . We cover: • The difference between secure behaviour and anxious survival strategies • How anxious attachment shows up as fixing, proving, pleasing, performing, waiting, or hyper-independence • Why you can stop chasing on the surface and still sabotage love underneath • How self-concept and subconscious beliefs determine who chooses you • Why being “low maintenance”, overly understanding, or hyper-independent is still chasing • How these patterns keep recreating partners who don’t fully choose you . If you’ve ever thought: “Why am I still not chosen even though I’m doing everything right?” . This episode will help you see exactly what’s happening - clearly, honestly, and without blame. . Find out your dominant chasing archetype Most people don’t just have one - but there is usually one that runs the show underneath. . 👉 Take the free Chasing to Chosen Quiz here . When you know how you’re chasing, it becomes much easier to stop sabotaging love without realising it. . Ready to shift from chasing to being chosen? If you recognise yourself in this episode, the work to change these patterns is inside my Chasing to Chosen Masterclass. . 👉 Watch the Chasing to Chosen Masterclass here And if you’re trying to manifest love, shift a current relationship, or attract someone new - make sure you listen to next week’s episode. Hit FOLLOW so you don't miss it! . If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program Anxious to Secure in Love where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full. . Free Masterclass: Stop Sabotaging Love Signature Program: Anxious to Secure in Love . Connect with me on Instagram @candicetamara_ Ways to work with me: Click here . Enjoying the podcast? Follow for more episodes & please rate your experience on your streaming platform so others can find it! Thank you!