196: Why We Resist Help After Betrayal
Mon Feb 02 2026
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When betrayal blows up your world, silence can feel safer than speaking—and yet that silence keeps the pain in charge. We open up about why so many of us resist help after an affair or divorce, how generational scripts shaped our instincts, and what it takes to shift from survival to healing. If you grew up believing privacy equals strength and emotions make you weak, this conversation will give you permission to ask for support without shame.
Together we unpack the real physiology of betrayal trauma—hypervigilance, insomnia, flashbacks, and brain fog—and why your nervous system needs regulation before big decisions. We draw a clear line between neutral support and well-meaning but biased advice, and we talk through how to find a coach or therapist who resonates with your body’s yes. You’ll hear practical steps for nervous system care, simple tools to reduce rumination, and the power of naming patterns like gaslighting to restore clarity. You don’t have to retell every detail to heal; you need safety, language, and consistent practice.
We also explore how modeling resilience changes the story for your kids, why time alone doesn’t heal, and how asking for help actually increases your sense of control. If you’ve been carrying a weighted vest of grief and panic, consider this your cue to start taking the plates off. You survived the betrayal—now let’s make healing lighter, faster, and yours by choice.
If this resonated, share it with someone who needs a steadier breath. Subscribe for more honest conversations, and leave a review to tell us what you want next. When you’re ready for real support, connect with me at lifecoachgen.com—your happily even after starts today.
Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.
Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions.
Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.
My website is www.lifecoachjen.com
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Send us a text When betrayal blows up your world, silence can feel safer than speaking—and yet that silence keeps the pain in charge. We open up about why so many of us resist help after an affair or divorce, how generational scripts shaped our instincts, and what it takes to shift from survival to healing. If you grew up believing privacy equals strength and emotions make you weak, this conversation will give you permission to ask for support without shame. Together we unpack the real physiology of betrayal trauma—hypervigilance, insomnia, flashbacks, and brain fog—and why your nervous system needs regulation before big decisions. We draw a clear line between neutral support and well-meaning but biased advice, and we talk through how to find a coach or therapist who resonates with your body’s yes. You’ll hear practical steps for nervous system care, simple tools to reduce rumination, and the power of naming patterns like gaslighting to restore clarity. You don’t have to retell every detail to heal; you need safety, language, and consistent practice. We also explore how modeling resilience changes the story for your kids, why time alone doesn’t heal, and how asking for help actually increases your sense of control. If you’ve been carrying a weighted vest of grief and panic, consider this your cue to start taking the plates off. You survived the betrayal—now let’s make healing lighter, faster, and yours by choice. If this resonated, share it with someone who needs a steadier breath. Subscribe for more honest conversations, and leave a review to tell us what you want next. When you’re ready for real support, connect with me at lifecoachgen.com—your happily even after starts today. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com