Episode 164: Why Wanting Weight Loss Doesn’t Mean You’ve Failed Your Healing - Perimenopause, Weight Loss & Diet Culture
Tue Feb 03 2026
If you’re in perimenopause and feel conflicted about wanting to lose weight, this episode is for you.
Many women doing anti-diet culture work reach a confusing place where their body starts to change for the better—less inflammation, more energy, clothes fitting differently—and instead of celebrating, they feel shame.
In this episode, Melissa breaks down why wanting weight loss does not mean you’re still stuck in diet culture, how perimenopause weight gain and weight loss are often nervous-system driven, and why body composition changes can be a side effect of safety rather than restriction.
You’ll learn how to separate diet culture from physiology, why shame shows up around weight in midlife, and how true healing allows both body trust and body change to coexist.
In This Episode, We Cover
Why perimenopause weight gain is often misunderstoodThe difference between diet culture and physiological weight lossWhy shame shows up when your body starts changingHow nervous system safety impacts metabolism and fat lossWhy weight loss can be a byproduct of self-trust and nourishmentWhy weight is a resource—not a moral issueWhat women actually want beneath the desire for weight loss
Key Takeaways
Wanting weight loss does not mean you’ve failed your healingDiet culture is about moral judgment and external pressure—not body changesPerimenopause nutrition must prioritize safety, consistency, and energyWeight loss that comes from homeostasis is not restriction—it’s regulationShame arises when identity and desire feel misalignedYou don’t have to choose between body acceptance and body changeWhen your body feels safe, it does what bodies naturally do
Timestamp Highlights
00:01 – Why this conversation matters for women healing their relationship with food02:30 – A client story: when weight loss brings shame instead of celebration04:30 – Why shame shows up around weight loss desires05:38 – What diet culture actually is (and what it isn’t)07:16 – The conflict between your mind’s “ideal body” and your body’s homeostasis09:30 – Melissa’s personal experience with weight, hormones, and safety12:11 – Why trying not to want weight loss is exhausting14:08 – What women really want beneath the desire to lose weight17:04 – How identity shapes your actions and body outcomes21:11 – The truth about weight loss, diet culture, and self-trust
Work With Me
If you’re ready to stop fighting your body and start supporting it—especially during perimenopause—my private coaching program Resourced is designed to help you rebuild safety, energy, and trust from the inside out.
You’ll receive personalized support around:
Perimenopause nutritionNervous system regulationDigestion and hormone healthSustainable body composition changesLearn more at: mindfullywell.com/resourced
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If you’re in perimenopause and feel conflicted about wanting to lose weight, this episode is for you. Many women doing anti-diet culture work reach a confusing place where their body starts to change for the better—less inflammation, more energy, clothes fitting differently—and instead of celebrating, they feel shame. In this episode, Melissa breaks down why wanting weight loss does not mean you’re still stuck in diet culture, how perimenopause weight gain and weight loss are often nervous-system driven, and why body composition changes can be a side effect of safety rather than restriction. You’ll learn how to separate diet culture from physiology, why shame shows up around weight in midlife, and how true healing allows both body trust and body change to coexist. In This Episode, We Cover Why perimenopause weight gain is often misunderstoodThe difference between diet culture and physiological weight lossWhy shame shows up when your body starts changingHow nervous system safety impacts metabolism and fat lossWhy weight loss can be a byproduct of self-trust and nourishmentWhy weight is a resource—not a moral issueWhat women actually want beneath the desire for weight loss Key Takeaways Wanting weight loss does not mean you’ve failed your healingDiet culture is about moral judgment and external pressure—not body changesPerimenopause nutrition must prioritize safety, consistency, and energyWeight loss that comes from homeostasis is not restriction—it’s regulationShame arises when identity and desire feel misalignedYou don’t have to choose between body acceptance and body changeWhen your body feels safe, it does what bodies naturally do Timestamp Highlights 00:01 – Why this conversation matters for women healing their relationship with food02:30 – A client story: when weight loss brings shame instead of celebration04:30 – Why shame shows up around weight loss desires05:38 – What diet culture actually is (and what it isn’t)07:16 – The conflict between your mind’s “ideal body” and your body’s homeostasis09:30 – Melissa’s personal experience with weight, hormones, and safety12:11 – Why trying not to want weight loss is exhausting14:08 – What women really want beneath the desire to lose weight17:04 – How identity shapes your actions and body outcomes21:11 – The truth about weight loss, diet culture, and self-trust Work With Me If you’re ready to stop fighting your body and start supporting it—especially during perimenopause—my private coaching program Resourced is designed to help you rebuild safety, energy, and trust from the inside out. You’ll receive personalized support around: Perimenopause nutritionNervous system regulationDigestion and hormone healthSustainable body composition changesLearn more at: mindfullywell.com/resourced SEO Keywords perimenopause weight gain perimenopause nutrition anti-diet culture weight loss without dieting nervous system and weight loss midlife metabolism healing relationship with food body acceptance and weight loss women’s hormone health non-diet approach to weight loss