The Letter to Your Ex You REALLY Want To Write
Thu Feb 05 2026
Send us a text
NB - language warning for this one. There’s a few F💣
In this episode, I share a client story about what happened when an unexpected message from an ex arrived around Christmas, and tipped something she thought was healed.
I share the process we used together to slow it down, name what had been activated, and write a response that was honest rather than “nice.”
I talk through:
Why messages from ex-partners can land so powerfully, even years laterWriting a polite reply versus a truthful oneHow writing it all out can bring clarity, release, and self-trustAttachment patterns as context and an invitation for healing, not excusesWhen compassion turns into self-abandonmentAnd how closure is something we create, not something we’re given
The episode includes a fictionalised reading of the letter she wrote - emotionally true, but anonymised and blended to protect identity.
If you’re struggling to let go or wondering about your ex. Maybe been activated by an unexpected message or meeting, and wondered why it affected you more than expected, this episode is for you.
Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist
How you can work with me Book a free intro call Free Resources & Downloads
- Choose You Guidebook
- Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts
- Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAM
All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️🌈
This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening.
Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.
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Send us a text NB - language warning for this one. There’s a few F💣 In this episode, I share a client story about what happened when an unexpected message from an ex arrived around Christmas, and tipped something she thought was healed. I share the process we used together to slow it down, name what had been activated, and write a response that was honest rather than “nice.” I talk through: Why messages from ex-partners can land so powerfully, even years laterWriting a polite reply versus a truthful oneHow writing it all out can bring clarity, release, and self-trustAttachment patterns as context and an invitation for healing, not excusesWhen compassion turns into self-abandonmentAnd how closure is something we create, not something we’re given The episode includes a fictionalised reading of the letter she wrote - emotionally true, but anonymised and blended to protect identity. If you’re struggling to let go or wondering about your ex. Maybe been activated by an unexpected message or meeting, and wondered why it affected you more than expected, this episode is for you. Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can work with me Book a free intro call Free Resources & Downloads - Choose You Guidebook - Having Hard Conversations - done for you scripts - Divorce with Less Drama - The Masterclass Follow me on INSTAGRAM All relationships are welcomed and supported at Reflect Coaching 🏳️🌈 This podcast is recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri people, the Traditional Custodians of this Land & its first story tellers. I pay respect to the Elders both past and present of the Kulin Nation & to any First Nations people listening. Please note: all podcast content is general information only, not legal advice or information. Please seek specialist advice to support you & your unique circumstances.