Ambition Isn’t The Problem. Misalignment Is!
Tue Feb 03 2026
What does it take to shift from goal-driven leadership to identity-led leadership? In this episode, we sit down with Bianca D’Alessio — star of HBO Max’s Selling the Hamptons, top-ranked real estate broker, and author of Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact.
Bianca shares why ambition isn’t the enemy — misalignment is, and how setting intentions (not just goals) transforms your confidence, leadership style, relationships, and long-term success.
Timestamps
00:00 Intro: Goal-driven vs identity-led leadership
01:15 Why Bianca felt successful… but not aligned
03:10 The real shift: “Who am I becoming?”
05:00 Reframing failure into growth + resilience
06:20 Why Bianca seeks failure (and what it unlocks)
07:45 Perfectionism kills creativity + connection
08:30 Leading with vulnerability vs being “stoic”
09:20 How to know you’ve hit a growth ceiling
11:00 Work identity vs personal identity (and why it causes crisis)
12:10 “If you don’t want to be a people person… don’t be a manager.”
13:40 Mastering Intentions: transformation starts with self-awareness
15:40 Bianca’s family intervention moment (rock bottom clarity)
19:45 Teamship: why life and leadership aren’t solo sports
23:10 Stop trying to be liked by everyone — focus on respect
25:50 When inner circle resistance reveals your priorities
27:20 What misalignment feels like (the warning signs)
29:10 Bianca’s alignment reset: daily/weekly check-ins + giving yourself grace
30:20 Bianca’s #1 tip: write down your story + use it as your superpower
31:10 Where to find Bianca + closing remarks
Connect with Bianca D’Alessio
Website: biancadalessio.com
Book: Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact (Available on Amazon)
Follow Bianca: LinkedIn, Instagram
Calls to Action
✔️ Subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with a colleague, friend, or leader who needs alignment right now
✔️ Watch on YouTube: Shed the Corporate Bitch TV
✔️ Follow the show: balloffirecoaching.com/podcast
Support the show
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What does it take to shift from goal-driven leadership to identity-led leadership? In this episode, we sit down with Bianca D’Alessio — star of HBO Max’s Selling the Hamptons, top-ranked real estate broker, and author of Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact. Bianca shares why ambition isn’t the enemy — misalignment is, and how setting intentions (not just goals) transforms your confidence, leadership style, relationships, and long-term success. Timestamps 00:00 Intro: Goal-driven vs identity-led leadership 01:15 Why Bianca felt successful… but not aligned 03:10 The real shift: “Who am I becoming?” 05:00 Reframing failure into growth + resilience 06:20 Why Bianca seeks failure (and what it unlocks) 07:45 Perfectionism kills creativity + connection 08:30 Leading with vulnerability vs being “stoic” 09:20 How to know you’ve hit a growth ceiling 11:00 Work identity vs personal identity (and why it causes crisis) 12:10 “If you don’t want to be a people person… don’t be a manager.” 13:40 Mastering Intentions: transformation starts with self-awareness 15:40 Bianca’s family intervention moment (rock bottom clarity) 19:45 Teamship: why life and leadership aren’t solo sports 23:10 Stop trying to be liked by everyone — focus on respect 25:50 When inner circle resistance reveals your priorities 27:20 What misalignment feels like (the warning signs) 29:10 Bianca’s alignment reset: daily/weekly check-ins + giving yourself grace 30:20 Bianca’s #1 tip: write down your story + use it as your superpower 31:10 Where to find Bianca + closing remarks Connect with Bianca D’Alessio Website: biancadalessio.com Book: Mastering Intentions: 10 Practices to Amplify Power and Lead with Lasting Impact (Available on Amazon) Follow Bianca: LinkedIn, Instagram Calls to Action ✔️ Subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and share this episode with a colleague, friend, or leader who needs alignment right now ✔️ Watch on YouTube: Shed the Corporate Bitch TV ✔️ Follow the show: balloffirecoaching.com/podcast Support the show