142: Best of: Codependency Doesn’t Exist with Shahem McLaurin
Mon May 26 2025
Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation.
I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Show Highlights:
● How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people
● Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews
● Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors
● Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged
● How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language
● How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time
● Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe
● How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool”
Resources and Links:
Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation. I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Show Highlights: ● How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people ● Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews ● Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors ● Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged ● How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language ● How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time ● Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe ● How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool” Resources and Links: Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices