46. The One Where Sex Is The Last Thing On Your Mind
Wed Feb 04 2026
If sex feels like the last thing on your mind right now, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not broken. Up to 40–50% of women experience low desire, low arousal, or pain with sex, especially in perimenopause and menopause.
In this validating and practical episode, Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur breaks down why libido is so much more complex than hormones alone. Using the Bio–Psycho–Social–Interpersonal model, she explores how stress, mental load, body image, relationship dynamics, and cultural conditioning all influence desire.
You’ll learn the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, why long-term relationships naturally shift your sexual motivation, and how to create the conditions for sex that actually feels worth wanting. Sarah also covers when low desire becomes a problem (HSDD), the role of hormones like testosterone, and what evidence-based treatments can help.
If you’ve ever dreaded “the look,” wondered where your libido went, or felt guilty for not wanting sex, this episode will help you feel seen and offer real tools to reshape your relationship with desire.
What You’ll Learn
Why your libido is influenced by biology, mood, stress, culture & relationshipsThe Basson model: why desire often comes after arousalHow responsive desire is completely normal in long-term relationshipsThe role of hormones (and what testosterone can actually help with)When low desire becomes HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder) — and what to do next
Resources & Links
Episode 28: The One Where You Just Don’t Feel Like Yourself — Bio-Psycho-Social model for moodEpisode 15: The One Where Sex Hurts And You Pee All the Time with Lisa FlandersHow To Choose The Right Lubricant
💌 Leave Me a Voicemail!
I want to hear from YOU.
Share your questions, stories, or what resonated with you about sex, desire, and relationships — your message might be featured in a future episode.
Leave me a voicemail here: Speakpipe.com/TheFatigueFixer
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Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur is a Naturopathic Doctor, mom, and fatigue fixer who’s on a mission to help women fix their fatigue and get the health care they deserve. You can find her talking about all things fatigue on Instagram and learn more about her services at drsarahv.ca.
The Fatigue Fixer is produced by Story Studio Network.
More
If sex feels like the last thing on your mind right now, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not broken. Up to 40–50% of women experience low desire, low arousal, or pain with sex, especially in perimenopause and menopause. In this validating and practical episode, Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur breaks down why libido is so much more complex than hormones alone. Using the Bio–Psycho–Social–Interpersonal model, she explores how stress, mental load, body image, relationship dynamics, and cultural conditioning all influence desire. You’ll learn the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, why long-term relationships naturally shift your sexual motivation, and how to create the conditions for sex that actually feels worth wanting. Sarah also covers when low desire becomes a problem (HSDD), the role of hormones like testosterone, and what evidence-based treatments can help. If you’ve ever dreaded “the look,” wondered where your libido went, or felt guilty for not wanting sex, this episode will help you feel seen and offer real tools to reshape your relationship with desire. What You’ll Learn Why your libido is influenced by biology, mood, stress, culture & relationshipsThe Basson model: why desire often comes after arousalHow responsive desire is completely normal in long-term relationshipsThe role of hormones (and what testosterone can actually help with)When low desire becomes HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder) — and what to do next Resources & Links Episode 28: The One Where You Just Don’t Feel Like Yourself — Bio-Psycho-Social model for moodEpisode 15: The One Where Sex Hurts And You Pee All the Time with Lisa FlandersHow To Choose The Right Lubricant 💌 Leave Me a Voicemail! I want to hear from YOU. Share your questions, stories, or what resonated with you about sex, desire, and relationships — your message might be featured in a future episode. Leave me a voicemail here: Speakpipe.com/TheFatigueFixer ------------------------- Dr. Sarah Vadeboncoeur is a Naturopathic Doctor, mom, and fatigue fixer who’s on a mission to help women fix their fatigue and get the health care they deserve. You can find her talking about all things fatigue on Instagram and learn more about her services at drsarahv.ca. The Fatigue Fixer is produced by Story Studio Network.