#290 - What Recovery Gets Wrong: The Partner's Side of the Story
Wed Feb 04 2026
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The recovery world loves to talk about healing, but who is it really built for?
This episode was originally released in May 2025, and we are bringing it back because the conversation is just as relevant now as it was then. In it, Matt and Paige take a hard look at what treatment centers, therapists, and traditional recovery programs often miss when it comes to spouses, partners, and families.
Why are partners so quickly labeled codependent?
Why is their anger treated like a problem instead of a response to real harm?
Why are they expected to forgive before they have even been allowed to grieve?
Matt and Paige share their own story while breaking down how betrayal trauma affects the brain, what real accountability looks like, and how recovery culture often prioritizes the addicted person at the expense of the people who were hurt.
This episode covers:
How trauma shows up in the body and brain
Why forgiveness without accountability becomes gaslighting
The myth of “you just need to understand addiction”
Why codependency is not a diagnosis and not always accurate
What couples actually need to rebuild trust and safety
The missing voice in most treatment programs: the spouse or partner
If you’ve ever been told you were “part of the problem” simply for being hurt, this episode is for you.
Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!
On the web:
www.twfo.com
Support the Show:
Buy Us a Coffee!
Online Program:
www.reclaiming-you.com
Soberlink Device:
www.soberlink.com/wheels
Check out our blog:
https://twfo.com/blog
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https://tiktok.com/@twfo_couple
Follow us on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/
Follow us on Facebook:
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Follow us on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_couple
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https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/
Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:
Donate Here
More
Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The recovery world loves to talk about healing, but who is it really built for? This episode was originally released in May 2025, and we are bringing it back because the conversation is just as relevant now as it was then. In it, Matt and Paige take a hard look at what treatment centers, therapists, and traditional recovery programs often miss when it comes to spouses, partners, and families. Why are partners so quickly labeled codependent? Why is their anger treated like a problem instead of a response to real harm? Why are they expected to forgive before they have even been allowed to grieve? Matt and Paige share their own story while breaking down how betrayal trauma affects the brain, what real accountability looks like, and how recovery culture often prioritizes the addicted person at the expense of the people who were hurt. This episode covers: How trauma shows up in the body and brain Why forgiveness without accountability becomes gaslighting The myth of “you just need to understand addiction” Why codependency is not a diagnosis and not always accurate What couples actually need to rebuild trust and safety The missing voice in most treatment programs: the spouse or partner If you’ve ever been told you were “part of the problem” simply for being hurt, this episode is for you. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! On the web: www.twfo.com Support the Show: Buy Us a Coffee! Online Program: www.reclaiming-you.com Soberlink Device: www.soberlink.com/wheels Check out our blog: https://twfo.com/blog Follow us on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@twfo_couple Follow us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/ Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCouple Follow us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_couple Find Taylor Counseling Group: https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/ Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation: Donate Here