Genetic Loss in Donor Conception: Will I Love My Child as Much?
Sun Feb 01 2026
If you’re using or considering donor conception and wondering, “Will I feel like the real parent?” or “Will I love this baby as much?” you are not alone.
In this solo episode, I talk about genetic loss – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s different from lifelong “genetic grief.” I share findings from my own research and years of clinical work, and explain why the distress you feel about needing a donor (even during pregnancy) has no correlation with how much you will love your child.
We’ll cover:
– What “genetic loss” means in the context of donor eggs, sperm, or embryos
– Why people experience genetic loss so differently – and why your way is valid
– The difference between genetic loss and genetic grief (and why you don’t have to “finish grieving” before starting your family)
– Why being upset about needing a donor does not predict whether you’ll bond with your child
– What my research and real‑life stories show about love and attachment in donor‑conceived families
– Practical tips for working with these feelings instead of judging yourself for them
At the heart of it, most people just want to know:
“Will I have a real bond with my child?”
This episode is here to reassure you that a strong bond is possible, and to give you language and tools to support yourself along the way.
⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.
More
If you’re using or considering donor conception and wondering, “Will I feel like the real parent?” or “Will I love this baby as much?” you are not alone. In this solo episode, I talk about genetic loss – what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s different from lifelong “genetic grief.” I share findings from my own research and years of clinical work, and explain why the distress you feel about needing a donor (even during pregnancy) has no correlation with how much you will love your child. We’ll cover: – What “genetic loss” means in the context of donor eggs, sperm, or embryos – Why people experience genetic loss so differently – and why your way is valid – The difference between genetic loss and genetic grief (and why you don’t have to “finish grieving” before starting your family) – Why being upset about needing a donor does not predict whether you’ll bond with your child – What my research and real‑life stories show about love and attachment in donor‑conceived families – Practical tips for working with these feelings instead of judging yourself for them At the heart of it, most people just want to know: “Will I have a real bond with my child?” This episode is here to reassure you that a strong bond is possible, and to give you language and tools to support yourself along the way. ⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.