How to Stop Wasting Time with the Wrong People - Emotional maturity with Jonathan Aslay
Tue Feb 03 2026
Most people treat dating like a lottery; swipe, hope, repeat.
Jonathan Aslay lost $2 million, his marriage, and his son. What saved him wasn't positive thinking. It was asking one brutal question: "What happened in your marriage?"
Not to judge. To observe. Because how someone talks about their ex reveals everything about their emotional maturity. Self-love isn't bubble baths and affirmations. It's having the spine to walk away from someone hot but emotionally stunted. It's recognizing that your body screams "yes" while your values whisper "run."
Chemistry is a drug. Compatibility is architecture. Most relationships fail because people confuse the two.
You'll learn:
The exact question that exposes emotional immaturity in 30 seconds
Why chemistry without shared values guarantees failure
How to interview dates without sounding like HR (and why you should)
Stop wasting months on people who were wrong from day three.
SPONSORS
👨💻 NordLayer
Security across your business
10% off: GROWTHMINDSET-10
http://nordlayer.com/growthmindset
NEW SHOW - How to Change the World: The History and Future of Innovation
Learn about the evolving story of the human species and our ideas told in chronological order. The podcast is full of fun facts, surprising stories and philosophical insights.
Found on all major podcast players:
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT
Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast
---
UPGRADE to Premium:
🏖️ Ad-free listening
🤘 Support the show
🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content
GrowthMindset.Supercast.com
Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail.com
CHAPTERS
00:00 - Introduction: When Success Becomes Suffering
01:32 - Jonathan's Story: Losing Everything
03:45 - The Market Crash and Day Trading Disaster
05:20 - From Greed to Self-Love
06:15 - What Self-Love Actually Means
08:40 - Self-Love vs. Narcissism
10:25 - Could You Have Learned This Earlier?
13:10 - Generational Wisdom and Technology
14:50 - Dating in the Tinder Era
17:20 - Inner Peace as a Barometer
19:05 - Discipline and Daily Practice
20:15 - The Dating Problem: Chemistry vs. Compatibility
22:30 - The Marriage Question That Reveals Everything
24:45 - Emotional Maturity and Taking Ownership
26:20 - Why You Should Interview Your Dates
27:40 - The Partnership Charter
28:35 - How They React to Questions
29:25 - The Job Question: Eeyore vs. Tigger
30:10 - Earliest Memories
31:28 - Kindest Thing Someone Has Done
32:23 - Advice for Life
33:15 - Outro: Be Kind to Yourself
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
More
Most people treat dating like a lottery; swipe, hope, repeat. Jonathan Aslay lost $2 million, his marriage, and his son. What saved him wasn't positive thinking. It was asking one brutal question: "What happened in your marriage?" Not to judge. To observe. Because how someone talks about their ex reveals everything about their emotional maturity. Self-love isn't bubble baths and affirmations. It's having the spine to walk away from someone hot but emotionally stunted. It's recognizing that your body screams "yes" while your values whisper "run." Chemistry is a drug. Compatibility is architecture. Most relationships fail because people confuse the two. You'll learn: The exact question that exposes emotional immaturity in 30 seconds Why chemistry without shared values guarantees failure How to interview dates without sounding like HR (and why you should) Stop wasting months on people who were wrong from day three. SPONSORS 👨💻 NordLayer Security across your business 10% off: GROWTHMINDSET-10 http://nordlayer.com/growthmindset NEW SHOW - How to Change the World: The History and Future of Innovation Learn about the evolving story of the human species and our ideas told in chronological order. The podcast is full of fun facts, surprising stories and philosophical insights. Found on all major podcast players: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast --- UPGRADE to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail.com CHAPTERS 00:00 - Introduction: When Success Becomes Suffering 01:32 - Jonathan's Story: Losing Everything 03:45 - The Market Crash and Day Trading Disaster 05:20 - From Greed to Self-Love 06:15 - What Self-Love Actually Means 08:40 - Self-Love vs. Narcissism 10:25 - Could You Have Learned This Earlier? 13:10 - Generational Wisdom and Technology 14:50 - Dating in the Tinder Era 17:20 - Inner Peace as a Barometer 19:05 - Discipline and Daily Practice 20:15 - The Dating Problem: Chemistry vs. Compatibility 22:30 - The Marriage Question That Reveals Everything 24:45 - Emotional Maturity and Taking Ownership 26:20 - Why You Should Interview Your Dates 27:40 - The Partnership Charter 28:35 - How They React to Questions 29:25 - The Job Question: Eeyore vs. Tigger 30:10 - Earliest Memories 31:28 - Kindest Thing Someone Has Done 32:23 - Advice for Life 33:15 - Outro: Be Kind to Yourself Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices