171: Why High-Performing Men Snap at Home (And How to Stop the Explode Shutdown Cycle)
Tue Feb 03 2026
In this episode, Lilly breaks down the Explode Shutdown Cycle: chronic activation → trigger → explosion → guilt → shutdown → repeat.
She’ll explain why willpower and communication skills can’t fix this, and what actually works: training your nervous system to expand capacity and move fluidly between activation and safety.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
* What the Explode Shutdown Cycle is and why it keeps repeating
* The nervous system science behind chronic activation, explosion, guilt, and shutdown
* Why you’re a “high-functioning survivalist” (like a high-functioning alcoholic—you keep it together, but at a cost)
* Why willpower and communication skills can’t fix a maxed-out nervous system
* The difference between sympathetic overdrive (activation) and ventral vagal (safety, connection, rest)
* Why small triggers at home (mess, requests, interruptions) feel like threats when you’re already maxed out
* How to train your nervous system to expand capacity and stay present under pressure
* The three phases to break the cycle (outlined in the free field guide)
* Why this is not a personality flaw—it’s a trainable nervous system response
Free Download:
Explode Shutdown Cycle Field GuideVisual diagram + 3 phases to break the cycle.https://lillyrachels.myflodesk.com/fieldguide
Connect with Lilly:
* Work 1:1: support@lillyrachels.com
* Website: lillyrachels.com
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com
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In this episode, Lilly breaks down the Explode Shutdown Cycle: chronic activation → trigger → explosion → guilt → shutdown → repeat. She’ll explain why willpower and communication skills can’t fix this, and what actually works: training your nervous system to expand capacity and move fluidly between activation and safety. In this episode, you’ll learn: * What the Explode Shutdown Cycle is and why it keeps repeating * The nervous system science behind chronic activation, explosion, guilt, and shutdown * Why you’re a “high-functioning survivalist” (like a high-functioning alcoholic—you keep it together, but at a cost) * Why willpower and communication skills can’t fix a maxed-out nervous system * The difference between sympathetic overdrive (activation) and ventral vagal (safety, connection, rest) * Why small triggers at home (mess, requests, interruptions) feel like threats when you’re already maxed out * How to train your nervous system to expand capacity and stay present under pressure * The three phases to break the cycle (outlined in the free field guide) * Why this is not a personality flaw—it’s a trainable nervous system response Free Download: Explode Shutdown Cycle Field GuideVisual diagram + 3 phases to break the cycle.https://lillyrachels.myflodesk.com/fieldguide Connect with Lilly: * Work 1:1: support@lillyrachels.com * Website: lillyrachels.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.growthovereasy.com