180. The False Hope of ‘Rock Bottom’ in Parenting a Struggling Teen or Young Adult
Tue Feb 03 2026
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “This has to be rock bottom… surely it can’t get worse than this,”? As painful as that thought is, it can also feel strangely comforting. Because if this is the worst of it… then maybe things will finally start to get better.
When your teen or young adult is making painful, risky, or destructive choices, the idea of rock bottom can feel like a lifeline. A way to survive the moment. A way to believe that relief, change, or recovery must be just around the corner. But what if that hope is actually keeping you stuck?
In this episode, I’m joined by Seth for a deeply honest conversation about the false hope of rock bottom and why so many parents unknowingly use it as a way to predict, control, or emotionally prepare for outcomes that are completely out of their hands.
We talk about why rock bottom isn’t a clear turning point, why it’s not something parents can identify or decide for someone else, and how placing your hope there often leads to more disappointment, helplessness, and heartbreak. We also talk about what happens when you stop waiting for someone else to change, and gently turn your focus back to yourself.
This isn’t about giving up hope. It’s about letting go of a belief that quietly keeps parents stuck, and finding a steadier, more sustainable way to get through the uncertainty of parenting a struggling teen or young adult.
In this episode on the false hope of rock bottom, we discuss:
Why parents cling to the idea of rock bottom when their teen is struggling;How rock bottom becomes a false sense of hope and control;Why rock bottom is not a fixed point and can always move;The emotional cost of waiting for your teen to “finally change”;How expectations around rock bottom set parents up for more hurt;The difference between reflection and prediction when it comes to personal lows;What to focus on when you can’t control your teen’s choices but still need to survive the moment;And more.
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com
You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show
And remember parents, the change begins with us.
More
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “This has to be rock bottom… surely it can’t get worse than this,”? As painful as that thought is, it can also feel strangely comforting. Because if this is the worst of it… then maybe things will finally start to get better. When your teen or young adult is making painful, risky, or destructive choices, the idea of rock bottom can feel like a lifeline. A way to survive the moment. A way to believe that relief, change, or recovery must be just around the corner. But what if that hope is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, I’m joined by Seth for a deeply honest conversation about the false hope of rock bottom and why so many parents unknowingly use it as a way to predict, control, or emotionally prepare for outcomes that are completely out of their hands. We talk about why rock bottom isn’t a clear turning point, why it’s not something parents can identify or decide for someone else, and how placing your hope there often leads to more disappointment, helplessness, and heartbreak. We also talk about what happens when you stop waiting for someone else to change, and gently turn your focus back to yourself. This isn’t about giving up hope. It’s about letting go of a belief that quietly keeps parents stuck, and finding a steadier, more sustainable way to get through the uncertainty of parenting a struggling teen or young adult. In this episode on the false hope of rock bottom, we discuss: Why parents cling to the idea of rock bottom when their teen is struggling;How rock bottom becomes a false sense of hope and control;Why rock bottom is not a fixed point and can always move;The emotional cost of waiting for your teen to “finally change”;How expectations around rock bottom set parents up for more hurt;The difference between reflection and prediction when it comes to personal lows;What to focus on when you can’t control your teen’s choices but still need to survive the moment;And more. Looking for support? 🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! 🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com You can support the show by: Leaving a review Subscribing to the show And remember parents, the change begins with us.