Why You Get Pissed When You’re Wrong (It’s Your Nervous System)
Mon Feb 02 2026
You can’t change what you don’t feel.
Ever notice how fast anger shows up the moment you realize you messed up?
You cut someone off in traffic.
You miss something obvious at work.
Your partner calls you out—and suddenly you’re defensive, pissed, explaining, blaming, or shutting down.
This episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast is about that moment—the split second when your body reacts before your character ever gets a vote.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth most men were never taught:
Those reactions aren’t a failure of willpower, maturity, or intelligence.
They’re nervous system reflexes.
In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down why being “wrong” often feels like a threat to survival, how your fight–flight–freeze–fawn responses hijack your behavior, and why “just calm down” has never worked (and never will). You’ll learn how shame disguises itself as anger, logic, withdrawal, or people-pleasing—and what’s actually happening inside your body when it does.
This isn’t therapy-speak or pop psychology.
It’s real-world, practical clarity for men who want self-mastery instead of self-judgment.
Inside the episode:
- Why mistakes register as danger in the nervous system
- The 3 protective states that drive defensiveness, shutdown, and people-pleasing
- How to spot when you’re reacting from self-protection instead of choice
- What secure, grounded responses actually sound like in real life
- A simple, actionable reset practice you can use in the moment
- The golden rule: Regulate first. Repair second. Explain last (or never).
If you care about your relationships, your leadership, or the kind of man you are under pressure, this episode is essential listening.
Because emotional maturity isn’t about never screwing up.
It’s about being able to tolerate being wrong—without attacking yourself or anyone else.
Listen in. Sit with it. Notice your patterns this week—not to fix them, but to understand them.
That’s where real change begins.
Want a Higher Baseline of Calm, Confidence, and Control? Start Here…
😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop.
🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in the San Francisco Bay Area:
👉 GuideToSelf.com
💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life:
🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast
👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships, visit their top couples counseling site:
👉 LoveIsntEnough.net
🎙️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men:
👉 TheEvolvedCaveman.com
🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the best therapist for women near you:
👉 JoreeRose.com
More
You can’t change what you don’t feel. Ever notice how fast anger shows up the moment you realize you messed up? You cut someone off in traffic. You miss something obvious at work. Your partner calls you out—and suddenly you’re defensive, pissed, explaining, blaming, or shutting down. This episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast is about that moment—the split second when your body reacts before your character ever gets a vote. Here’s the uncomfortable truth most men were never taught: Those reactions aren’t a failure of willpower, maturity, or intelligence. They’re nervous system reflexes. In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down why being “wrong” often feels like a threat to survival, how your fight–flight–freeze–fawn responses hijack your behavior, and why “just calm down” has never worked (and never will). You’ll learn how shame disguises itself as anger, logic, withdrawal, or people-pleasing—and what’s actually happening inside your body when it does. This isn’t therapy-speak or pop psychology. It’s real-world, practical clarity for men who want self-mastery instead of self-judgment. Inside the episode: - Why mistakes register as danger in the nervous system - The 3 protective states that drive defensiveness, shutdown, and people-pleasing - How to spot when you’re reacting from self-protection instead of choice - What secure, grounded responses actually sound like in real life - A simple, actionable reset practice you can use in the moment - The golden rule: Regulate first. Repair second. Explain last (or never). If you care about your relationships, your leadership, or the kind of man you are under pressure, this episode is essential listening. Because emotional maturity isn’t about never screwing up. It’s about being able to tolerate being wrong—without attacking yourself or anyone else. Listen in. Sit with it. Notice your patterns this week—not to fix them, but to understand them. That’s where real change begins. Want a Higher Baseline of Calm, Confidence, and Control? Start Here… 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop. 🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in the San Francisco Bay Area: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast 👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships, visit their top couples counseling site: 👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men: 👉 TheEvolvedCaveman.com 🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the best therapist for women near you: 👉 JoreeRose.com